I love Sade. Her voice is so healing. Welcome back.

Toddy English.

Dear Friends:

I stole this from “My Two Cents Worth Down Under.” I love these things…haha.

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Pink…like my gums.

2. Name one person who made you smile today. Robert for his bravery…
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Driving to work (I was five minutes late but fortunately I live right around the corner)…
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Wasting time on Facebook!

5. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers…it has lots of nuts (Yes, that was innuendo).
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? No! eep! I am so unjaded!
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? You dumb bitch…(Well I mumbled it to this very clueless lady that came into my job today)
8. What is your favorite ice cream? Cookies N Cream and Butter Pecan…Unfortunately I don’t eat much ice cream anymore seeing as I have a lactose intolerance.
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Minute Maid Tropical Fruit Punch…
10. Do you like your wallet? Hell no…I got it from Dollar General. Yet, it serves it’s purpose. Enough said.

11. What was the last thing you ate?  Trix (The cereal)…

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? I’m a borderline shopaholic…what do you think (about this new shirt I’m wearing)?

13. The last sporting event you watched? NBA basketball! All those sexy tall musclely mens…It’s like soft porn!
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? It comes in flavors? I guess my favorite is plain with tons of salt.
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? That reminds me…I need to check my cellphone messages.

16. Ever go camping? Unless sleeping in the back of my uncle’s truck, on a ranch, counts as camping…no.
17. Do you take vitamins daily? YES! Vitamin C, Vitamin B, and a Centrum Multi-Vitamin…They taste good and are good for you. Everyone should!
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Uhm…this is weird. I’m agnostic yet I like to sometimes attend church. I go every other Sunday. Then again my church has cute guys in there…

19. Do you have a tan? Yes I sure do. I was born with it.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Pizza. You can plan out a stroke with the amount of MSG in Chinese food (well American Chinese anyway).

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? I don’t drink soda…But I love drinking with a straw. Holding the cup and straw makes me look like I’m on a soap opera or something.
22. What did your last text message say? I don’t know haven’t checked them yet.
23. What are you doing tomorrow? I don’t know what I’m going to do in a few minutes let alone tomorrow.

24. Favorite color? Red! When I was younger it was blue…Then recently it was hot pink…Now it’s Red. I don’t know what it is about red but I love it…striking.

25. Look to your left; what do you see? I see the wall next to me…a computer printer attached to it.

Dear Friends:

I’m late with this, but I’m so glad that Donnie McClurkin’s self hatred has galvanized the black gay community in a sense. This is beautiful. Hopefully you are moved by it the way that I was.

With love…

Sincerely,

Toddy English.

I feel so wonderful!

Toddy English

Dear Friends:

Why is the word “cunt” considered such a vile epithet? Today I was in the grocery store and an irate customer called the cashier a cunt. My reaction (and those of the other customers) was one of disgust! Myself, I was raised a very polite southern gentlemen. So I’m not very vulgar. Yes, occasionally my conversation will be sprinkled with a few naughty words every now and again; however, that’s mainly when I’m being fun and silly. When I’m upset I never swear…let alone use words like CUNT.

Which is why I asked the question…

Why is cunt so much more vulgar than calling someone a dickhead? Why is a woman’s anatomy, when used in the context of an insult, so much more vile than a man. Granted, I really like dick but that’s besides the point. Why does calling someone a dickhead illicit a chuckle whereas “CUNT” inspires apalling abhorrence?

Toddy English.

Dear Friends:

I believe that Beyonce Giselle Knowles is a witch. I’m almost convinced she has latent magical powers. I have never been so completely enthralled by an entertainer (besides Michael Jackson) in my twenty some odd years on this planet. When “Check up on it, “ “Irreplacable,” or “Upgrade U” come on the radio I literally have to sit in my car and sing along until they fade out. When a Beyonce video comes on I have to stop what I’m doing. Beyonce is a witch because she has completely bewitched me.

Back in the day, for me, it was all about Aaliyah (still love her). That was until Destiny’s child broke onto the scene. I got hip to Destiny’s child because one of my cousins was best friends with a former group member. The first single, “Bills, Bills, Bills” was hot. I loved the vocals, particularly those sung by the lead girl. When I saw the video that’s when it happened. There was just something about the lead singer that enamored me. No, it was not because she was lightskinned (like some people love to speculate). In every group there is always that single memory that has that sparkle, that thing that makes you stop and take notice…

Now, over ten years later, the rest of the world apparently noticed it too.

Honey, I love everything about Beyonce, y’hear me? With the exception of Carmen (the hip hopera) there is nothing she has put out that I don’t atleast like. Whether she’s: singing, dancing, acting, wearing princess inspired costumes and etc  Bey is just a regular Jill of all trades! Now she’s got a new perfume line coming out Hell, Beyonce’s no longer just a singer. She’s  a brand!  

Back in the day I used to goto ALL (ALL of them) of the Destiny’s Child concerts. Whenever they came to town (either for a tour or the rodeo) me and my friends would break our piggy banks to see a show. Now, I loved all of Destiny’s Child but–like I said earlier–it was just something about that girl in the middle with the honey blonde hair. When Beyonce is onstage she gives mad PERFORMANCE! The combination of rhythmic dancing and singing, all while in six inch stillettos, entrances me.  While Kelly and Michelle were (and still are) very talented having them alongside Beyonce was equivalent to expecting a candle to outshine a supernova. It can’t be done. It was inevitable (and prudent) that Beyonce go solo…

Of course she took her lumps from the haters (as all lead singers do when a group falls apart)…

A lot of her critics gleefully ridicule her because of the fallout that occurred during the Destiny’s Child break-up (likening her family to somekind of cult). Beyonce drew comparisons to Diana Ross for being too ambitious and engendered severe scrutiny for every bit of irrelevant minutae (if Michelle Williams didn’t vocalize enough in an interview it was alleged Bey was holding her at gun point, an extreme analogy if you will). While I know that no one in the music industry is without blight nor blemish I never believed the rumors about Mrs. Knowles-Carter (this is a woman that literally dotes on her fans). What impressed me most was how she never came back at her former group members in the media. Instead she and the remaining group members forged ahead. Everybody thought DC was gonna fall apart after Latavia, Letoya, and Farrah split. But Beyonce was like, “You think we done? I’ll show you…” 

The Survivor album took off and Destiny’s Child was reborn. Due to the fact that all three of the remaining members were great singers DC’s sound only improved! “Survivor” and “Destiny Fulfilled” (in my opinion) were DC’s two best albums. The girls were at their best vocally, especially Beyonce.

Between those two albums Beyonce recorded “Dangerously In Love” and after that it was NEVER the same. Beyonce showed everybody what she was capable of. All the naysayers found out that this woman wasn’t goin anywhere anytime soon. Now, eight years later, with the release of her third solo album I Am…Sasha Fierce (which has sold like a bazillion copies world wide and spawned a dance sensation) Beyonce sits atop her lofty perch as the gold standard that EVERY up and coming pop princess aspires too. Beyonce is now a legend in her own time and she’s just on the first leg of her career.

Many gay men have a “diva” that they identify with and hold close to their hearts. I guess Beyonce is mine; however, my love doesn’t stem from some need to live vicariously through her (like some of her more super hero gay fans). Beyonce just makes me extremely happy! It’s as simple as that. When I hear a Beyonce song or see a Beyonce video my spirit soars. She’s infectious. I couldn’t NOT like her even if I wanted to! Beyonce is the complete entertainment package from her: soulful mezzo soprano (she has one of the BEST voices); her wild and sexy dance moves (reminiscent of a young Tina Turner); the legs; the hair; clothes; and all of the pretty colors (I love the pomp and circumstance of Beyonce). Beyonce just GIVES IT TO YOU! In this decade she is the only STAR that is truly larger than life. As a matter of fact I believe Beyonce is the last of her kind in that regard.  Every new girl in town (i.e. Ciara, Rihanna, and etc al) either tries to mimic Beyonce or distance herself completely from the mold she’s created. Beyonce is an original. Right now no one else compares to her(sorry Janet, Whitney, and Mariah. Ya’ll had your time. It is all about Beyonce now).

What I also love about Bey’s music is the message of empowerment. In addition she reflects so many different moods in her work (the mark of a multifaceted performer). She can be vulnerable (The Broken Hearted Girl, If I were a boy, and Ava Maria), Powerful (Irreplaceable and Survivor), Fun (Ego, Video phone, and Upgrade U) and sexy (Kitty Cat, Work it out, Naughty Girl). The many facets of this single performer are simply astounding.  

Yes, I am an unapologetic fan of Beyonce’s. Some people try to pretend like they’re too cool for school but I’ll not fake any fronts. The next time she comes to my city ya’ll will see this crazy ass little dude in the front row just wildin out like there is no tomorrow!

With Love…

Sincerely,

Toddy English.

Dear Friends:

I loved him on American Idol but now I’m an official Adam Lambert groupie. Last week I went on a CD binge. I copped the new: Beyonce (the I Am Yours concert DVD set), Lady Gaga, Rihanna (don’t sleep on this one. Rated R is really good), Everything Alanis Morissette (love her), and Adam Lambert’s debut CD “For Your Entertainment.”

Given how talented Mr. Lambert is I knew this CD would be fabulous, even if it is produced by the shlubbs who created American Idol. Needless to say “For your Entertainment” does not dissappoint. If you’re a Lambert diehard (or just a pop/rock junkie…I fall under both categories) then you’ll be into this. I love practically every song on the CD. My favorite songs from the album are: Music Again, For Your Entertainment (This one grew on me), What do you want from me (really good power ballad), Fever, and Sure Fire Winners (This should be the next single). So far the former are the songs that I have on repeat.

Overall, I would say this album is a really good start.  Lambert is mad talented and can wail right along with any diva (finally a male singer that can really SING. Moreover, the pomp and circumstance (i.e. the hair, make up, clothes, and over the top performances) that Adam Lambert brings is everything that I relish in an entertainer.

This guy is the next big thing. Love him.

For Your Entertainment gets a B+

P.S.

That album cover is so GAY it’s WONDERFUL! (lol)

Dear Friends:

I have a question…

When Chris Brown tried to murder Rihanna we were appalled (well some of us. 80% of African-Americans–particularly women–believe that Rihanna deserved to be beaten) and rightfully so.

Yet, when Elen Woods went after her husband (Tiger Woods) with a nine iron golf club America laughed.

Granted, I know that 90% of all domestic violence cases involve the man beating the hell out of his wife or girlfriend. Men are generally bigger, stronger, and capable of inflicting more damage on a female than vice versa. Furthermore, even if–in 10% of the cases–the woman is the aggressor the guy, unless the woman is packing a nine millimeter, can usually control the situation. So, it’s really no comparison when it comes to domestic violence. It’s usually some brutish ogre torturing his defenseless wife or girlfriend.

Yet and still that does not excuse Elen for going all Valkyrie on Tiger, not at all. Elen’s act of violence was excused due to the fact that she is viewed as “weaker” than her pro-athlete husband. I’m willing to bet that the incident will probably be parodied on SNL (a show that should have gone off twenty years ago) this weekend.

We’re a bunch of hypocrites when it comes to the issue of domestic violence. Violence against women = Heinous. Violence against men = Comedy. What kind of message does this send, especially since teen dating violence is now common place? Furthermore, how does this hypocrisy impact the gay community?

Gay domestic violence is quite common as well. Sadly, it is not taken seriously because…

1.) They’re gay (so right there is a strike for any homophobe on the police force who gets the call)

2.) It’s two men (or women). People erroneously believe that simply because it’s two men they can defend themselves against one another. Well, what if one partner is significantly smaller and weaker than the other (who just happens to be perpetuating the violence)? Then what?

Some men like to say, “Oh, if my man hit me we would be fighting!” Yeah, use all that bravado if you want to but for some people it is not that simple. If someone even acted like they were going to smack me in a relationship I’d be out the door and never look back. Why do I need to fight somebody that is supposed to love and support me? It might be hard to leave but I’d assess the situation in 3rd person and do what’s best for myself.

Violence is unacceptable. Both parties should keep their hands to themselves, end of story.

Tiger won’t file charges on Elen. He just wants his squeaky clean image back. He’ll buy her diamonds, million dollar shopping sprees, and a new Bently and she’ll go back to being his trophy queen (doesn’t take much to placate a gold digger…Look at Vanessa Lane Bryant). Elen don’t give a damn and neither should we.

Sincerely,

Toddy English.

Dear Friends:

Last night I had quite a lovely dream. It was in regards to my 2nd oldest brother.

Now, for those who may not know E (my brother’s initial) I wrote about him in my coming out story “Requiem, Rebirth, and Redemption (My Years of living Dangerously).” During that tumultuous period E was the ring leader in the dangerous circus that had become my life. I’ve not seen nor spoken to E in nearly five years. Yet, the looming spectre of his presence was akin to a virulent form of cancer that had eaten away at my soul. How one person could be so cruel and callous baffled me. Soon, I became filled with rancor for him. Thankfully, I saw it for what it was and removed it from my being.

Nevertheless, inspite of all the time that has passed, E came to me in a dream (quite vividly so). Normally, when I dream about my brothers they are nightmares (especially when it comes to my brother D); however, this one was quite the opposite. In the dream E approached me and–with the most pitiable look on his face–said, “Toddy, I am so sorry. I’m sorry about everything.”  To my surprise I looked at him and smiled, “I forgive you.” Just like that. It never occurred to me to give it a second thought. Then we hugged for a really longtime (which was odd because I’ve never hugged E a day in my life). Just like that it was over. I didn’t sleep too good after that but it was that good “I can’t believe that just happened” feeling.

Upon starting my day I felt free, as if a burden had been lifted. That’s when it dawned on me that I’d let my brothers go (M, E, and D). I do not want a reconciliation with any of them. The mere possibility of a relationship has been completely cast aside. They are not people who I want in my orbit in any capacity. Yet, I can rest in the fact that I’m not carrying any animosity towards them. Their hold is broken over me.

I love my brothers. Now, I love them enough to truly let go.

With Love…

Sincerely,

Toddy English.

Dear Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan:

Please take Tiger’s I-Phone from him. Next time he might not be so lucky.

With Love…

Sincerely,

Toddy English.