I’m having a huge problem lately. I’m still trying to figure out why so many gay men (well those of the bottom persuasion that is) refer to their rectal orfices (okay @$$holes) by such endearing nicknames like: Boi pussy, kitty cat, boogina, mangina, and etc al? Since when did ass become the new vagina?
Moving right along…
Okay, so whenever my good acquaintance and I delve into raunchy sex conversations (well, it’s mainly him. I am so demure when it comes to frank sex talk in public, lol) he’ll jokingly say, “Gwarl, when is the last time you had yo pussy cat stroked?” Of course that particular inquiry is always good for a chuckle; however, I’m often left standing with the metaphorical glaring neon question mark floating above head. It makes no sense why anyone would compare their ass to actual genitalia. Moreover, why would a grown man relate his ass to lady parts?
I guess I’m not very imaginative in this instance. I only call my ass an: ass, booty (my favorite. The word literally means ‘treasure’), bum, rump, golden humps, or rectum (pretty much all of the slang terms that I know for that region of my anatomy). I’ve honestly, even in the heat of passion, never been compelled to say, “Ooh daddy take dat boi pusssssy!” That’s just gives me the all over heebie jeebies. Don’t let me be misunderstood now…I love being talked dirty too (LUV IT); but there is certainly a line I draw in the proverbial sand. You can call me a ‘B’ word if it’s hot like that; but you start saying “give me some pussy” then that is a turn off for real(well just make sure I don’t hear you).
To me the mere idea makes me feel like I’m totally emasculating myself. I already know that being more “bottomly inclined” comes with a tremendous amount of stigma (even in gay society). However, I take no shame in it. It is how pleasure is derived for me. I simply refuse to compare my body, a man’s body, to that of a woman’s. I think women are beautiful. I’m just not one of them. Which is why I don’t understand the need to nickname your ass with a colorful descriptor generally used to describe the pleasure zones of a woman.
One guy I know refers to his rump as ”booty candy.” Are you kidding me? Booty candy? Uhm, no honey. The last thing that’s coming out of your ass, after you done knocked back those chili nachos, is candy (unless you consider your excrement to be fudge pops or something). In addition I hate, hate, HATE, it when a dude says, “Chile, I saw a man so fine he made me moist!” Can you say EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW? Uhm, look, if you’re moist back there–sans working up a sweat–then you need to seek immediate medical attention (or invest in depends undergarments). Sweetie, that is NOT the LOOK.
Furthermore, I could see calling your asshole something akin to a “pussy” or “kitty cat” if no one else, but gay men who assume the bottom position, had an asshole. However, EVERYONE–including women–have assholes. Hell, I think cock roaches have assholes too. That region of your body is not distinctive. So, why steal “pussy” from the ladies? Chile, you ain’t Beyonce. Your asshole is not a Kitty Cat, end of story.
Granted, I’m not up here preaching. If you are convinced your ass is a pussy then do you boo boo. I just don’t get it.
Anyway, I apologize for sounding crass (oh my god I’ve never sworn that much in my life, haha)but this was on my mind(lol).
Add one talentless beauty queen and a dash of anti-gay bigotry and you get the next big “celebrity” sensation (I wonder when talent will, once again, become a prerequisite for being famous?). The Advocate wrote this interesting article about a very disturbing phenomenon…
How’s this for a new formula to achieve infamy in today’s era of instant celebrity? Take one beauty queen, add her personal religious beliefs, and then mix in opposition to same-sex marriage. The result is a combustible media firestorm sure to bring the beauty queen overnight notoriety.
In 2009 decrowned Miss California USA Carrie Prejean used that formula to ride on the unexpected fame triggered by her “opposite marriage” interview answer at the Miss USA pageant. Now, we have “Miss Beverly Hills” Lauren Ashley — who intends to compete for the Miss California USA crown in November — voicing her opposition to same-sex marriage based on her literal reading of the Bible. Lauren Ashley has gotten even more specific than Carrie Prejean; she has quoted the Book of Leviticus’s directive to “put to death” any man who “lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman” to support her belief that the Bible is “pretty black and white” about condemning homosexual relations.
Not surprisingly, Miss Beverly Hills’s publicly-voiced opinion triggered a wave of recent press coverage and backlash against her for a too-literal, naive reading of Scripture. Before this, she was a relatively unknown state pageant contestant-to-be who does not even hail from Beverly Hills. (Lauren is actually from Pasadena, but under the rules of the Miss California USA Pageant was able to claim the mantle of Miss Beverly Hills. The city of Beverly Hills swiftly issued a statement disclaiming any affiliation with her.)
This makes me wonder whether we are seeing the start of a new trend with this fiery formula — beauty queens who cite their religious beliefs to oppose marriage equality in order to gain (or extend) 15 minutes of fame. Perhaps we should give this trend a nifty moniker. How about “Sashes Against Same-Sex Marriage”? “Beauty Queens Against the Queens”? Or “Crowns Opposed to Marriage Equality”? Before you know it, a new organization could emerge with some fierce acronyms.
I have some experience with this phenomenon — and not just because I am a fan of beauty pageants. I was in the audience at the Miss USA 2009 pageant in Las Vegas when Carrie Prejean infamously gave her “no offense” comments opposing gay marriage in response to a question from judge Perez Hilton. Given the murmuring in the audience, I wondered sitting there whether this young woman would leverage her YouTube moment to rise to infamy…
Personally, I don’t believe we should give these bitches the attention they so eagerly crave. All they want are their fifteen minutes and a guest spot on Bill O’racist’s show. Had Perez Hilton not made such a fuss over Carrie Prejeans then MAYBE there would be no need for this article? ::sigh::
Toddy English.
This is considered as attractive? Maybe if those vampires on Buffy get you loose then yeah...otherwise? NO.
I excerpted this from blogger Nova Slim @Novaslim.com and reposted it here. This was soooo hilarious and in many cases true! (lol) Admittedly, except for the evil, I’m a “skinny bitch.” (rofl) Look, I find nothing wrong with loving: The mall, Beyonce, and great fashion…(lmao) Seriously, even though this is satire it is so appropriate for a multitude of the men I’ve encountered.
Toddy English
The Skinny Bitch
This strain of Black gay is typically very young (”green”) but quickly rises in popularity in his newfound social circle because of his youth, pliability and quick mastery of shade. His goal is to accrue as many enemies as possible since he’s convinced that having enough people that despise him means he’s “doing something right.” He will spend an entire month’s salary on designer sunglasses because he considers them social currency. Activities: “Walking”, throwing shade, wearing eyeliner, being penetrated, hogging the camera, starting arguments with strangers, making youtube videos, going to the mall. Diva of Choice: Beyonce or Rihanna (there is no in-between) Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Homo Thug
The Homo Thug’s days are numbered since this is a group that usually patterns itself after trends in Hip-Hop, and the thug image is slowly fading. However, this image is still a selling point in gay porn and a popular refuge for closeted men. He usually has archaic notions about Black male sexuality and equates “thug” with masculinity. He is disrespectful, self-hating, and needs to pull his pants up. Activities: Hiding, lying, saying “I don’t do that gay shit”, smoking weed, being ignorant, having kids, having a limited vocabulary, not returning calls, breaking hearts. Diva of Choice: Lil’ Wayne Top or Bottom: Outdoor Top/Indoor Bottom
The Big Boy
These teddy bears are sweet, loving, warm and always horny. The lines between a good meal and good sex are often so blurred that any conversation involving “meat” will simply have to be taken in stride. He is way more confident than you think he has a right to be, always has a date (because he looks “healthy”), he’s funny, and will give you anything in the world as long as you are consistently fucking his brains out. Activities: Calling skinny bitches “skinny bitches”, cooking, hugging, making inappropriate double entendres, grabbing. Diva of Choice: Jennifer Hudson Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Muscle Queen
They roll in packs and only date each other. You never see them during the winter months because they are in the gym 24/7. Come summer, he’s wearing the smallest tank-top or the tightest t-shirt. Don’t bother lusting after him, because you do not exist in his world. Activities: Making fun of fat people, lifting weights, talking about lifting weights, accusing skinny people of being sick, dating white guys, bumping into people, being penetrated. Diva of Choice: Creatine. Top or Bottom: Power Bottom.
The Church Queen
In spite of the Black church’s reputation for homophobia and intolerance, you will find that a number of Black gay men make the church the cornerstone of their social interaction, perhaps out of a sense of familial or religious obligation, or simply because the choir is so fierce. The Church Queen is usually loyal and loving, but is prone to Tourette-like outbursts of “Jee-suss!!” in any given situation. He listens to gospel music constantly and considers Loretta Divine his spirit animal. Activities: Cooking, talking loud, clutching his pearls, singing, being called “mother”, being single, speaking with a southern twang even though he’s from the midwest or the northeast. Diva of Choice: Karen Clark Sheard Top or Bottom: Sanctified Bottom.
The Uppity Snob
He is educated, has a six-figure salary, a nice car and a big house, but nothing is good enough for him. He will throw dinner parties with his Coven Of The Articulate and they will all wear hard-soled shoes regardless of the season, time of day or theme. When he’s among other types of gays, he will roll his eyes, sneer, or attempt to oppress them intellectually. In spite of all his accomplishments, he’ll never be happy, can’t take a joke and never laughs. He can usually be found in the club wearing a blazer and sipping a cocktail against the wall. Activities: Debating, sighing, having a small penis, having furniture delivered, going to the spa, being offended, finding excuses to use any word that requires a schwa. Diva of Choice: Whitney Houston Top or Bottom: Bottom.
The Alterna-Queen
He doesn’t like the “gay scene” because he finds it “too mainstream.” You can find him a coffee shop with his MacBook Pro listening to underground Soul or Hip-Hop, writing poetry and waiting for someone with whom he can debate the oppression of goats and librarians. He often accuses people of “not getting” him and reactively dislikes anything that everyone else likes. He’s basically “The Uppity Snob” but with dreadlocks. Activities: Poetry slams, debating, having his locks re-twisted, blogging, shopping at outdoor markets, calling himself a photographer, quoting Marcus Garvey, dating white men. Diva of Choice: Some bitch you never heard of. Top or Bottom: Top for white guys, otherwise bottom.
The Old Queen
The Old Queen has seen everything and done everyone. He thinks you’re frivolous and that you stole everything from his generation. He will say things like “in my day, the men were men” and “remember when House music was House music?” He is short of patience and doesn’t want to hear your whining. Activities: Knowing everything. Remembering everything. Diva of Choice: Stephanie Mills, Teena Marie, Chaka Khan or Luther Vandross. Top or Bottom: Like it even matters.
Recently one of my favorite bloggers Darian Aaron (of “Living Out Loud With Darian” fame) did his regular feature “Coupled Up” for AOL’s Black Voices forum. Coupled Up is one of my favorite features on any blog. It focuses on LGBT African American couples in loving long-term MONOGAMOUS (emphasis on monogamy) relationships. As a young gay person it always fills my heart with joy to see this because someday it will be me (hopeless romantic that I am it better be!). Personally, I can’t get enough “Coupled Up”.
Anyway…
Initially, I was SHOCKED to see it on AOL. AOL’s Black voices? The Jamaica of the internet posted an affirmative feature about a gay couple (two BLACK MEN mind you)? Oh my goodness and heavens to fuckin Betsy! “It must be the apocalypse!” I thought.
All jokes aside I thought it was cool for such a bigoted website to take a huge leap like that.
Yet, true to form BV would not be BV without it’s WONDERFULLY tolerant regular posters (please note the sarcasm).
What began as something beautiful (the article itself) turned really ugly very fast (in the replies). The featured couple were refered to as everything EXCEPT human beings. Furthermore, all of the rhetoric was based in “Christian love” and “wanting what is best for the black community and Jesus” and etc al.
I was not too surprised though. Naturally, what do you expect to happen when you get a bunch of ignorant folks in one place? They amass together like a cancerous tumor. That is exactly what AOL’s Black Voices is in my opinion. After being a regular chatter there for over a year I vacated to avoid dropping anymore IQ points.
Be that as it may…
It is still disturbing to see that so many black people are still this insanely retarded when it comes to the topic of LGBT people. Now, I would go on a tirade about the prevelance of fundamentalist Christianity within the African American community but that’s a whole other post honey…
But, I will give you all just a snippet of the comments…
In spite of what society says, God’s Word – His Standard still holds true. Marriage is a holy covenant between a man and a woman. Anything else is not of God.
Took the words right out my mouth. A marriage between 2 of the same sex is not sanctioned my God PERIOD!
reiterating God’s standard is not being judgemental, the truth is just that the truth. I have relatives in the same lifestyle, so I’m the last to judge (note: this dummy said that she is none judgemental. Ha! Silly cow)
Naomi, thats the purpose of being a Christian. As a follower of the word, you are reqired to condemn anything that goes agaist God’s will. If you don’t condemn, then you condone, and if you condone any acts of sin, then that makes you a transgressor against God!!
I understand its not for us to judge. But what if everyone had sex with the same sex. Where would the human race be? (gotta love this one. Yes, a fraction of humanity will bring the human race to extinction. People this dumb should be forbidden to procreate in my opinion)
A Christian is always in a position to judge sin. If you cannot judge right from wrong, then I doubt that you’re a true Christian. Christians must always be able to call sin what it is. You cannot stop homosexuals from doing what they want to do, but by God you can say it’s wrong.
Those were just of few of the disgusting comments I had to sift through (there were some that were worse). The irony is that the majority of them were from African American women. These same women will gripe and moan about gay black men living on the down low but continually disparage gay men who choose to live on the up and up. This pervasive ignorance and hostility is the reason so many of them resort to the closet in the first place (not that it is an excuse, but it is a factor).
Anyway, the ignorance and hostility towards gays and lesbians in the black community is inexcuseable in the 21st century. It is time for us to get into college and out of the damn church pews. Pick up an issue of NewsWeek and not just the Bible and Hype Hair!
At some point our community is going to have to evolve or be left behind. It’s sad that I feel completely alien in my own surroundings simply because I’m openly homo, agnostic, and an aspiring vegetarian. What we need to understand that there is just as much diversity in our community as there is in other communities. Homosexuality is NOT destroying the black community. Ignorance, apathy, and religiousity is the unholy trifecta in this situation.
I excerpted this from blogger “Joe My God.” The “I Am Gay and This is Where I Play” campaign is a rebuttle against the rampant homophobia that is so prevelant in the African American community. Read on…
In between ads for TV shows and clothes on the Long Island Rail Road is a different kind of message. These ads feature pictures of young African-American men with their families, at church and on the basketball court. At the top of each poster are the words, “I am gay.” The Bay Shore-based Long Island GLBT Services Network sponsored the ads with a $37,000 grant from the state health department. David Kilmnick, chief executive of the group, said he hopes the ads will start a conversation within black communities about homosexuality and homophobia. “This is the first time there’s this visible of a campaign and so widespread across the entire Island,” he said. “It’s in your face in a positive way. . . . It’s talking about ‘We’re gay and this is our home and this is our community.’ ” Dale Anthony Edmonston, an African-American AIDS activist from Hempstead, said homophobia in the black community has had disastrous results for black Long Islanders who are gay. “In the African-American community, it’s taboo to talk about gays and lesbians,” he said. “Many members of the African-American community have family members who are gay and lesbian. And it’s not discussed and they can’t say nothing in their family and so they go outside of the box to find the happiness and support that they think that they need, which is allowing a lot of people to put themselves at risk.”
I think this is a wonderful idea and a step in the proper direction. African American gays need an identity outside of Adam4Adam, Houston Splash, and Sex parties. It is time to represent and be about it. If you want equality you eventually have to stand up and be counted. Does it mean leading the floats on gay pride? No. It simply means being your authentic self and saying, “Yes, I am gay and I’m still apart of the black community.”
The irony in this video is that a gay marraige was actually performed; however, it was between a lesbian and a gay.
Kitty Lambert, in a show of civil disobedience, petitioned for a marraige license (in New York State no less) to marry her partner of (I’m assuming) a ton of years. Of course the court denied her (duh?). Yet, Kitty pulled a random gay man out of the crowd and the two of them were issued a marraige license on the spot.
The moral of the story?
You can marry any any stranger on a whim as long as you’re straight. Yet, you can be with your gay domestic partner for fifty and be treated like the scourge of humanity.
Question: Is there really sanctity in marraige? I’m gonna say no.
I can’t believe this expose was done only forty-three years ago. The ignorance and stupidity is so prolific it’s stunning!
It was almost laughable watching licensed psychiatrists invoke the story of Oedipus Rex as a means for the creation of homosexuals (the last time I checked Oedipus killed his father and married his mother…he didn’t kill his dad and decorate his mother’s new dining room!) Furthermore, I found it incredibly misogynistic as well. 90% of the onus was placed on the woman for making her son gay, thus leading him towards a life of: hardship, pain, solitude, and secrecy. No wonder so many women of that era were literally devastated when they found out. They probably watched this damn program!
I wonder is Mike Wallace ashamed of himself in retrospect (due to many of the view points being his own and not quotations)? He really should be.
The sad part is that you have people who STILL feel this way. This documentary is not ancient history by a long shot. If it were up to a sizeable portion of Americans gays would be lynched (they’d probably give a pass to lesbians…seeing as most of the bigots believe that all the girls need is some serious dicking down).
If you can spare 45 minutes and manage to keep your food down please watch this video. It is an eye opener. This was pre-stonewall; pre-gay liberation, and pre-HIV/AIDS.
I have officially decided to write the story of a character that has been haunting me for well over a year. The tale is supernatural in nature (one of my favorite themes) and features African Americans as principal leads (which is a rarity in Fantasy/sci-fi)…
However, I’ve been afraid to undertake the story gestating within my imagination.
Some of my fear is steeped in a percieved lack of originality. No matter what ‘original’ idea I believe I’ve conjured up there is someone who has ALREADY thought of it too. That is really maddening at times.
Yet, I continually hearken back to my freshmen English professor’s profound statement that, “No one is ever going to reinvent the wheel.” Therefore, I’ve decided to revisit existing themes while putting my own imaginative spin on them. Problem number one is solved.
However, the true set back comes from sheer unadulterated ambivalence about writing the damn story.
The ambivalence stems from attempting to fashion my principal character (The lead whom will drive this story) into an authentic human that the reader can empathize with. This is the character that desperately needs their story told (as stated in the title of this blog. I am literally HAUNTED by this fantasy person). Anyway, getting right down to it, the character in question is a woman. The idea of writing extensively about a woman intimidates me, because I am not a woman. So, how can a man possibly write a convincingly well rounded female character? Moreover, how can a gay man write for a heterosexual woman?
This conundrum left me discombobulated. It disabled me momentarily. I was literally afraid to start writing the story. As a man I don’t know what it feels like to be a woman. So how could I possibly write a compelling character with so much uncertainty floating around in my head?
You’re usually told to “write what you know” by some folks. So, I tried to change the character’s gender and make ‘him’ gay. However, I wasn’t compelled to write my protagonist that way. As I’ve stated previously this character has sprung to life in my mind as her own unique entity. She cannot be anything other than she is. Now, she is begging me to tell her story. She refuses to let me do a gender reassignment on her.
For the record I’ve always wanted to create my own powerful heroine. Every since I saw Linda Carter as Wonder Woman I’ve been fascinated by really strong women. So, in writing my own character, I wanted to make her just as wonderfully impactful as: Wonder Woman, Storm (not the horrible Halle Berry version), Foxy Brown, and Sarah Connor were.
I actually wrote a female anti-heroine a few years ago. It was an eighteen chapter story based on Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Kill Bill’(another writer with a predilection for mighty female characters) franchise. The story was about Nikia Bell, the daughter of Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox), going after revenge for the death of her mother. Long story short I transformed Nikki from a small child into a lethal assassin. A lot of people loved it, even girls. Yet, in retrospect, I wish I had done somethings differently. I’ll not delve into that right now; but, I always said to myself that when I created my own original character I’d rectify some mistakes…
So, I am scared. Yet, I MUST write this story! This character is longing to exist. On the one hand it is so exciting to be filled with inspiration but on the other…Yeah, you get it.
Anyway, I talked to some of my online writer friends and they gave me some potent advice…
One of them said, “Well, if you wrote a story about a serial killer would you need to go out and commit murder for research?” That would be a definite HELL NO. Moreover, I don’t know what it’s like to be an assassin but I wrote a story about professional assassins. I’ve written fantastical stories about: mutants, fairies, and elves and etc al…
That is when it dawned on me. We are all human beings (well I always knew that. But that is besides the point). So why should the human experience be so astoundingly different for a man or woman? Granted, physiologically, the sexes are different (men are adapted for rigorous labor and women child birth) but are we all so vastly different that we can’t find commonality in a shared human experience?
I came to the realization that I was encumbered by my own stereotypes of what it means to be a man or woman…and I am the MAIN person always speaking against that (in terms of sexual orientation and etc). No matter how hard I tried this experience has taught me that I do have my own preconceived notions about gender and roles. Granted, there are different perceptions–in certain instances–of how men and women see the world. Case in point: Whereas I’m sometimes scared to walk alone in the dark it is primarily because I might be gay bashed or robbed (or both). Yet, many women I’ve talked to said it’s because they are afraid they’ll be raped or something. Same scenario. Two different hypotheticals.
True, there are tons of differences; however, I don’t believe that the two genders are polar opposites. I think in our culture the differences are played out quite significantly, however. “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus” is a marketer’s wild wet dream. The dating section at Barnes and Noble is a million dollar(s) industry whose fortune is based on creating a cavernous gulf between the genders. We exacerbate the differences so much that we eliminate any room for similarity.
Ultimately, everyone, regardless of gender, wants self actualization and happiness. It is how they go about it that differs. Yet, that isn’t based on sex. That is based on human individuality.
That’s why I’ve always, as a gay man, more readily identified with strong female protagonists in fiction. Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry is totally unrelatable to me. One look at him and you know he is going to beat everybody’s ass and save the day. There is nothing that makes his ‘struggle’ empathic. Yet, Buffy Summers left me feeling compelled. The idea that an unassuming petite little cheerleader is the SOLE protector of humanity, from the forces of darkness, is profound. Now, add to that she is juggling school, family, and friends friends in the process.
Therefore, I am going to write my character as a human being first; a human being with a dilemma second, and her gender being a mere detail (much like the color of her hair and etc al).
Anyway, I didn’t mean this as a dissertation on men and women but it just came out that way…haha.
In honor of black history month I’ve decided to highlight the contributions of the great African Americans that many in black America would like to forget about…Our Gay, lesbian, and bisexual forefathers and mothers. Granted, many African Americans will proudly proclaim the literary genius of: Langston Hughes, Audre Lorde, and James Baldwin; however, the fact that the three of them were same gender loving men and women is usually glossed over (or debated ad nausem, despite overwhelming evidence supporting their collective sameness). These illustrious men and women are the very foundation of black art and culture. Their genius knows no color barriers. Yet they are shunned by OUR community simply because of they did not fulfill the idealistic vision of what it means for blacks to be black MEN and WOMEN.
Well, no longer. This post will serve as a tribute to them and all openly gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender: artists, intellectuals, and activists of color. They were out before the black community would even admit to having a closet.
With Love…
Sincerely,
Toddy English.
Bayard Rustin
Bayard Rustin: The soul of the civil rights movement
Bayard Rustin, largely ignored by the African American community at large, was the heart and soul of the civil rights movement. Yes, Martin Luther King Jr. was the leader but he learned all of his non violent techniques from Rustin. Moreover, Mr. Rustin was responsible for organizing the now legendary march on Washington. In addition Mr. Rustin was a vocal advocate for LGBT rights before he passed away in 1987.
Angela Davis
Brilliant activist for: African American, Woman, and LGBT rights. She was a former black panther and a voice throughout the civil rights movement.
Barbara Jordan: The First African American woman to serve in the United States House of Representatives
The NFL has stirred up the obligatory controversy. Not since Janet’s big ole titty was exposed has such a ruckus run amok in the world of advertisement. For those of you not in the know…
Mancrunch.com, a gay dating website, recently purchased ad space for this years’ Superbowl. Anyway, the commercial features two very average looking gentlemen watching a football game (benign enough). Suddenly, one of them reaches for some candy the same time the other one does. Well, instead of violently asserting their heterosexuality (ala the last Superbowl commercial for Snickers that never aired) the two start making out on the couch (really heavy like).
Of course CBS rejected the ad (like a duh?) along with an anti-abortion piece. So, I can see the network not wanting to make Superbowl night about hot button issues. Yet, nevertheless here are my thoughts…
Like it or not...I see more women who look like this everyday than I'd like to.
I thought the commercial in and of itself was extremely: low budget, tacky, crass, and boorish. The gay factor was used for shock value, no more no less. What would have been so bad about a tastefully done commercial? For instance…
Same setting. Same dudes. Only dude in the green jersey is cuddled up next to his boo whilst watching the game. No one would’ve been able to cause an uproar over that. It would have made a statement and been non controversial.Therefore, I am convinced that is what mancrunch.com was going for. They were banking on the controversy and their viewership has probably gone sky high since then.
Lastly, the people who made a huge stink over it are the same ones who would have laughed had some woman tackled a man and slobbed him down. However, I digress. People get quite angry when confronted with their own hypocrisy.
Besides, that isn’t what this is about…
Chile, this is about the idea that sex between two (or more) men is somehow disgusting. Ugh, the mere insinuation makes me so mad!
I’ll read on the internet and listen to homophobic straight people talk about, “Ew, I don’t see how they do it! That is sooooo nasty,” or “Eeeeewwww they do it in the booty” and other sh*t like that. Furthermore, I’ve often heard homophobic straight men (well, I am presuming they are straight given their preoccupation with all things gay related) crassly state, “I can’t imagine two rusty legged dudes in da bed together bro!” (note: these are the same guys who loudly applaud lesbians when in fact they don’t like lesbians at all. They like big breasted bimbos that pretend to be lesbians just for their demented sexist pleasure…Moreover, in actuality the “lesbians” they covet so much would not touch them even in their fantasies)
My response to that is…
Most Gay Guys at the club
Perhaps you can’t imagine it because for the most part it is RARELY ever true! Gay men with “Rusty Legs” is the equivalent of finding a pig with a pearl necklace and elegant ball gowns (excluding Miss Piggy). If I see a gay man with ashy legs and ugly feet I’m pretty sure that he probably just came out and needs another gay to help him along the beaten path…
Anyway…
Many people have it in their minds that gay sex is somehow filthy and unhygienic simply because anal sex is so prevalent between men (which I don’t understand seeing as more and more men are persuading their women to let them go “Back Door.” Furthermore, if you ask me poking a hole that spews monthly blood and human beings is just as “nasty” as one that emits fecal matter…Then again that is just me). Moreover, those same individuals equate gay sex with pain and domination (e.g. their imagination is awash with ghastly images of prison with one guy getting bent over and gang banged by the bloods and crips).
Also, don’t even get me started on the delusional fantasy world wherein ALL women are fine featured; delicately crafted by god (from the rib of Adam); gamine creatures with bountiful breasts and pouty lips all created to appeal to men’s loins. Yes, the guy could look like a cross between Patrick Ewing and Wesley Snipes but still a stunning creature of the utmost pulchritude awaits his beck and call…
Now for the reality check…
The average American woman more closely resembles Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg…Not Halle Berry. Now that is the gospel truth (can I get an amen?). So, I’d like to know what could POSSIBLY be more revolting? One of those women or some hot looking gay guy?
Be that as it may, given my experience, as a gay man, gay sex is completely and totally hygienic. Do you know how much dedication it takes for me to prepare myself to go out into the world everyday (just in case some dude wants to holla)? Now factor in another two hours for my regimen when I definitely know some sex is going to be involved! Ladies and gents it is dedication, pure and simply put.
Some people operate under the archaic notion that men as a whole are base beings (particularly radical feminists). Men are dumb and filthy barbarians that don’t care for such trivialities like: manicured hands, pedicured feet, sweet scents, and a clean ass. These brutish creatures, according to every single episode of Oprah in history, need wives and girlfriends to reach their pinnacle in terms of cleanliness and etc al.
Well honey I’m certainly not the guy they are referring to, or most gay men for that matter. Chile, whenever I have a date I start preparing a day in advance just to get there on time (I don’t believe in being fashionably late)! After taking my shower I slather my body in St. Ives moisturizer before dabbing scented oils (Nubian musk and blue nile are my scents of choice) behind my ears and on my chest (sometimes I’ll even use body spray) and various nether regions. Then I have to brush/floss my teeth; wash and moisturize my face (cannot use the same body moisturizer for the face); clean my ears, trim my nose hairs; and condition and comb my hair! That is all before I start getting dressed!
Now, if you’re talking purely SEXUAL hygiene then that’s a whole NOTHA story. Being that I’m mostly a bottom (Yes, I admit it! There is no shame in that whatsoever. Pfft!) there is a whole heap of responsibility place squarely on my buttocks (so to speak). Afterall, I’m not going to allow myself to get the sordid reputation of having a bad ass (and I don’t mean bad as in good). Once word gets around you’re screwed (not in a good way). Granted, I am not about to divulge the details of my cleansing ritual but please believe that I’m so clean you could probably eat food off my body…
Most straight men where I grew up.
And I really believe the same can be said about 90% of gay men be they butch/fem, black/white, and old/young. Yeah, some guys might go for that tattered and torn look (e.g. older, rugged, more mature, and masculine) but most of the time they are gonna smell like some good cologne.
The idea that gay sex is so dirty is a myth derived from rampant homophobia, old wives tales, and puritanical folkways. Trust me, I’ve been to the gay clubs. I’ve seen guys that literally have their faces BEAT (made up) better than ANY female I’ve ever seen honey. Hell, my friend Freddy wears “M for Mariah” fragrance! He smells just like a woman (lol). Furthermore, and perhaps it is just the clubs I’ve been in, but EVERYONE is hot…even if they aren’t hot. Gay men don’t be half steppin when it comes to our looks and hygiene.
If anything I’d think heterosexual sex might be gross seeing as the only requirements that most women have for a man is that they be employed and have a good sense of humor (which totally leaves everything else to chance. ew). I don’t think I’d ever willingly toss a straight guy’s salad, even if he looked really good (chances are, since he’s only been with women, he ain’t worry about being clean back there!). I’ve seen heterosexual women with men that I’ve literally thought, “How does she let him touch her without recoiling?” Furthermore, once the majority of hetero guys get married even if they are cute they let their appearance go to pot. They just sit on the couch; drink their beers; eat pizza; belch; scratch themselves; and scream at the television; while they beg their wives to bring them more beer. How these men have any sex, aside from their right hand, mystifies me. These are the same guys that believe every gay guy secretly lusts to be with them by virtue of them being male. Uhm, well, may I shock the world with this statement be we (gays) really are quite selective!
The Skinny Bitch
The Homo Thug
The Big Boy
The Muscle Queen
The Church Queen
The Uppity Snob
The Alterna-Queen
The Old Queen![[LIRRhomophobiaAD.jpg]](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t6rV3U9ZEHM/S3UOTTcvCKI/AAAAAAAAqFc/knHcxaCjZ2Q/s1600/LIRRhomophobiaAD.jpg)
I came to the realization that I was encumbered by my own stereotypes of what it means to be a man or woman…and I am the MAIN person always speaking against that (in terms of sexual orientation and etc). No matter how hard I tried this experience has taught me that I do have my own preconceived notions about gender and roles. Granted, there are different perceptions–in certain instances–of how men and women see the world. Case in point: Whereas I’m sometimes scared to walk alone in the dark it is primarily because I might be gay bashed or robbed (or both). Yet, many women I’ve talked to said it’s because they are afraid they’ll be raped or something. Same scenario. Two different hypotheticals.
toddyenglish
@$$ Is Not The New Vagina
Rumpalicious!
Dear Friends:
I’m having a huge problem lately. I’m still trying to figure out why so many gay men (well those of the bottom persuasion that is) refer to their rectal orfices (okay @$$holes) by such endearing nicknames like: Boi pussy, kitty cat, boogina, mangina, and etc al? Since when did ass become the new vagina?
Moving right along…
Okay, so whenever my good acquaintance and I delve into raunchy sex conversations (well, it’s mainly him. I am so demure when it comes to frank sex talk in public, lol) he’ll jokingly say, “Gwarl, when is the last time you had yo pussy cat stroked?” Of course that particular inquiry is always good for a chuckle; however, I’m often left standing with the metaphorical glaring neon question mark floating above head. It makes no sense why anyone would compare their ass to actual genitalia. Moreover, why would a grown man relate his ass to lady parts?
To me the mere idea makes me feel like I’m totally emasculating myself. I already know that being more “bottomly inclined” comes with a tremendous amount of stigma (even in gay society). However, I take no shame in it. It is how pleasure is derived for me. I simply refuse to compare my body, a man’s body, to that of a woman’s. I think women are beautiful. I’m just not one of them. Which is why I don’t understand the need to nickname your ass with a colorful descriptor generally used to describe the pleasure zones of a woman.
One guy I know refers to his rump as ”booty candy.” Are you kidding me? Booty candy? Uhm, no honey. The last thing that’s coming out of your ass, after you done knocked back those chili nachos, is candy (unless you consider your excrement to be fudge pops or something). In addition I hate, hate, HATE, it when a dude says, “Chile, I saw a man so fine he made me moist!” Can you say EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW? Uhm, look, if you’re moist back there–sans working up a sweat–then you need to seek immediate medical attention (or invest in depends undergarments). Sweetie, that is NOT the LOOK.
Furthermore, I could see calling your asshole something akin to a “pussy” or “kitty cat” if no one else, but gay men who
assume the bottom position, had an asshole. However, EVERYONE–including women–have assholes. Hell, I think cock roaches have assholes too. That region of your body is not distinctive. So, why steal “pussy” from the ladies? Chile, you ain’t Beyonce. Your asshole is not a Kitty Cat, end of story.
Granted, I’m not up here preaching. If you are convinced your ass is a pussy then do you boo boo. I just don’t get it.
Anyway, I apologize for sounding crass (oh my god I’ve never sworn that much in my life, haha)but this was on my mind(lol).
With L-O-V-E…
Sincerely,
Toddy English.