I’m having a huge problem lately. I’m still trying to figure out why so many gay men (well those of the bottom persuasion that is) refer to their rectal orfices (okay @$$holes) by such endearing nicknames like: Boi pussy, kitty cat, boogina, mangina, and etc al? Since when did ass become the new vagina?
Moving right along…
Okay, so whenever my good acquaintance and I delve into raunchy sex conversations (well, it’s mainly him. I am so demure when it comes to frank sex talk in public, lol) he’ll jokingly say, “Gwarl, when is the last time you had yo pussy cat stroked?” Of course that particular inquiry is always good for a chuckle; however, I’m often left standing with the metaphorical glaring neon question mark floating above head. It makes no sense why anyone would compare their ass to actual genitalia. Moreover, why would a grown man relate his ass to lady parts?
I guess I’m not very imaginative in this instance. I only call my ass an: ass, booty (my favorite. The word literally means ‘treasure’), bum, rump, golden humps, or rectum (pretty much all of the slang terms that I know for that region of my anatomy). I’ve honestly, even in the heat of passion, never been compelled to say, “Ooh daddy take dat boi pusssssy!” That’s just gives me the all over heebie jeebies. Don’t let me be misunderstood now…I love being talked dirty too (LUV IT); but there is certainly a line I draw in the proverbial sand. You can call me a ‘B’ word if it’s hot like that; but you start saying “give me some pussy” then that is a turn off for real(well just make sure I don’t hear you).
To me the mere idea makes me feel like I’m totally emasculating myself. I already know that being more “bottomly inclined” comes with a tremendous amount of stigma (even in gay society). However, I take no shame in it. It is how pleasure is derived for me. I simply refuse to compare my body, a man’s body, to that of a woman’s. I think women are beautiful. I’m just not one of them. Which is why I don’t understand the need to nickname your ass with a colorful descriptor generally used to describe the pleasure zones of a woman.
One guy I know refers to his rump as ”booty candy.” Are you kidding me? Booty candy? Uhm, no honey. The last thing that’s coming out of your ass, after you done knocked back those chili nachos, is candy (unless you consider your excrement to be fudge pops or something). In addition I hate, hate, HATE, it when a dude says, “Chile, I saw a man so fine he made me moist!” Can you say EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW? Uhm, look, if you’re moist back there–sans working up a sweat–then you need to seek immediate medical attention (or invest in depends undergarments). Sweetie, that is NOT the LOOK.
Furthermore, I could see calling your asshole something akin to a “pussy” or “kitty cat” if no one else, but gay men who assume the bottom position, had an asshole. However, EVERYONE–including women–have assholes. Hell, I think cock roaches have assholes too. That region of your body is not distinctive. So, why steal “pussy” from the ladies? Chile, you ain’t Beyonce. Your asshole is not a Kitty Cat, end of story.
Granted, I’m not up here preaching. If you are convinced your ass is a pussy then do you boo boo. I just don’t get it.
Anyway, I apologize for sounding crass (oh my god I’ve never sworn that much in my life, haha)but this was on my mind(lol).
Have you ever dated someone with a peculiar sexual fetish? I’m not necessarily referring to extreme gross out kink (e.g. water sports, scat, snowballing, and etc al) either. I’m speaking on fetishes that are seemingly inoffensive but sorta make the little hairs on the back of your fingers stand up. Some people come into a relationship with a little sexual kit n kaboodle that you’ll find either adorable or benignly perverted. I had one such experience and it started a little something like this…
Two years ago I briefly dated a guy named Adam. I met Adam at a Starbucks coffee-house. He bumped into me and sent my books crashing to the floor. Adam helped me pick up my stuff and the conversation proceeded from there. We vibed instantly. Adam was really cute (in a big loveable kind of way), hella funny, and employed. So, since he fit all the criteria for a date it was a go.
Well, we went out a few times and started phone boning (phone sex) and making out (not going all the way though). On the third date we discussed having full on sexual intercourse and what we liked. Alright, so we’re lounging in the McDonald’s parking lot (yes, we did have a Golden Arches date) and Adam pulls out his wallet. He started showing me pictures of all these teddy bears. The photos of the Teddy Bears were really cute. I just found it bizarre that all of his wallet photos were of teddy bears. One of them was of him sitting on his bed surrounded by Teddy bears. Adam also had a picture of a really big bear (life-sized) that he named Robbie.
I thought nothing about it, initially. It seemed innocent enough. “Oh he collects Teddy Bears. How sweet.” I thought. It really did make him more adorable…
That was until he told me what he liked to do with those damn bears.
Adam, in a low voice (half jokingly), said he got aroused having oral and anal copulation with ‘Robbie’ (tell me HOW he accomplished that I don’t know. I still don’t think I WANT to know). He further elaborated that he had been in actual threesomes with Robby. My next thought was, “How can you be in a ménage à trois with an inanimate object?” I laughed. At first I thought he was playing. But as he continued his expression never changed. Adam was being for real. Hell, the way he discussed it he LOOKED like he was getting turned on. By that time I had been rendered completely mute. It was so weird. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be confused. I just sat there and acted like I heard that kind of thing everyday.
Honestly, it would have been easier had he just told me he liked urine and feces. I would have said, “Alright, up out my face boi” and BROKE. But how do you react to something so sweet and cute like a Teddy Bear? The ambiguity in this peculiar predicament was a bitch. So I just asked him, “Are you for real?”
After we left McDonald’s he was excited about the prospects of: me, him, and Robbie gettin down together. I won’t even lie. I did entertain the idea; however, that was just way too out there for your’s truly. The closest I ever got to that was humping my bed when I was twelve. In addition, I asked Adam had he ever had sex without a bear around. He answered honestly and said no. That kind of freaked me out. It left me with the notion that he would much rather have it off with stuffed animals than humans. Needless to say me and Adam kinda fell off after that. He was a really cool and likeable dude too. But my big fear was that Robbie may have been quite unsanitary (with all the MANnaise in him) and that Adam had some form of arrested development.
Now, I kind of wonder whether or not Robbie was around when we had phone sex? ::shudder::
Anyway, I was just thinking about this today; but I have dated some HELLA kooky cats in the past!
Recently one of my favorite bloggers Darian Aaron (of “Living Out Loud With Darian” fame) did his regular feature “Coupled Up” for AOL’s Black Voices forum. Coupled Up is one of my favorite features on any blog. It focuses on LGBT African American couples in loving long-term MONOGAMOUS (emphasis on monogamy) relationships. As a young gay person it always fills my heart with joy to see this because someday it will be me (hopeless romantic that I am it better be!). Personally, I can’t get enough “Coupled Up”.
Anyway…
Initially, I was SHOCKED to see it on AOL. AOL’s Black voices? The Jamaica of the internet posted an affirmative feature about a gay couple (two BLACK MEN mind you)? Oh my goodness and heavens to fuckin Betsy! “It must be the apocalypse!” I thought.
All jokes aside I thought it was cool for such a bigoted website to take a huge leap like that.
Yet, true to form BV would not be BV without it’s WONDERFULLY tolerant regular posters (please note the sarcasm).
What began as something beautiful (the article itself) turned really ugly very fast (in the replies). The featured couple were refered to as everything EXCEPT human beings. Furthermore, all of the rhetoric was based in “Christian love” and “wanting what is best for the black community and Jesus” and etc al.
I was not too surprised though. Naturally, what do you expect to happen when you get a bunch of ignorant folks in one place? They amass together like a cancerous tumor. That is exactly what AOL’s Black Voices is in my opinion. After being a regular chatter there for over a year I vacated to avoid dropping anymore IQ points.
Be that as it may…
It is still disturbing to see that so many black people are still this insanely retarded when it comes to the topic of LGBT people. Now, I would go on a tirade about the prevelance of fundamentalist Christianity within the African American community but that’s a whole other post honey…
But, I will give you all just a snippet of the comments…
In spite of what society says, God’s Word – His Standard still holds true. Marriage is a holy covenant between a man and a woman. Anything else is not of God.
Took the words right out my mouth. A marriage between 2 of the same sex is not sanctioned my God PERIOD!
reiterating God’s standard is not being judgemental, the truth is just that the truth. I have relatives in the same lifestyle, so I’m the last to judge (note: this dummy said that she is none judgemental. Ha! Silly cow)
Naomi, thats the purpose of being a Christian. As a follower of the word, you are reqired to condemn anything that goes agaist God’s will. If you don’t condemn, then you condone, and if you condone any acts of sin, then that makes you a transgressor against God!!
I understand its not for us to judge. But what if everyone had sex with the same sex. Where would the human race be? (gotta love this one. Yes, a fraction of humanity will bring the human race to extinction. People this dumb should be forbidden to procreate in my opinion)
A Christian is always in a position to judge sin. If you cannot judge right from wrong, then I doubt that you’re a true Christian. Christians must always be able to call sin what it is. You cannot stop homosexuals from doing what they want to do, but by God you can say it’s wrong.
Those were just of few of the disgusting comments I had to sift through (there were some that were worse). The irony is that the majority of them were from African American women. These same women will gripe and moan about gay black men living on the down low but continually disparage gay men who choose to live on the up and up. This pervasive ignorance and hostility is the reason so many of them resort to the closet in the first place (not that it is an excuse, but it is a factor).
Anyway, the ignorance and hostility towards gays and lesbians in the black community is inexcuseable in the 21st century. It is time for us to get into college and out of the damn church pews. Pick up an issue of NewsWeek and not just the Bible and Hype Hair!
At some point our community is going to have to evolve or be left behind. It’s sad that I feel completely alien in my own surroundings simply because I’m openly homo, agnostic, and an aspiring vegetarian. What we need to understand that there is just as much diversity in our community as there is in other communities. Homosexuality is NOT destroying the black community. Ignorance, apathy, and religiousity is the unholy trifecta in this situation.
I excerpted this from blogger “Joe My God.” The “I Am Gay and This is Where I Play” campaign is a rebuttle against the rampant homophobia that is so prevelant in the African American community. Read on…
In between ads for TV shows and clothes on the Long Island Rail Road is a different kind of message. These ads feature pictures of young African-American men with their families, at church and on the basketball court. At the top of each poster are the words, “I am gay.” The Bay Shore-based Long Island GLBT Services Network sponsored the ads with a $37,000 grant from the state health department. David Kilmnick, chief executive of the group, said he hopes the ads will start a conversation within black communities about homosexuality and homophobia. “This is the first time there’s this visible of a campaign and so widespread across the entire Island,” he said. “It’s in your face in a positive way. . . . It’s talking about ‘We’re gay and this is our home and this is our community.’ ” Dale Anthony Edmonston, an African-American AIDS activist from Hempstead, said homophobia in the black community has had disastrous results for black Long Islanders who are gay. “In the African-American community, it’s taboo to talk about gays and lesbians,” he said. “Many members of the African-American community have family members who are gay and lesbian. And it’s not discussed and they can’t say nothing in their family and so they go outside of the box to find the happiness and support that they think that they need, which is allowing a lot of people to put themselves at risk.”
I think this is a wonderful idea and a step in the proper direction. African American gays need an identity outside of Adam4Adam, Houston Splash, and Sex parties. It is time to represent and be about it. If you want equality you eventually have to stand up and be counted. Does it mean leading the floats on gay pride? No. It simply means being your authentic self and saying, “Yes, I am gay and I’m still apart of the black community.”
I can’t believe this expose was done only forty-three years ago. The ignorance and stupidity is so prolific it’s stunning!
It was almost laughable watching licensed psychiatrists invoke the story of Oedipus Rex as a means for the creation of homosexuals (the last time I checked Oedipus killed his father and married his mother…he didn’t kill his dad and decorate his mother’s new dining room!) Furthermore, I found it incredibly misogynistic as well. 90% of the onus was placed on the woman for making her son gay, thus leading him towards a life of: hardship, pain, solitude, and secrecy. No wonder so many women of that era were literally devastated when they found out. They probably watched this damn program!
I wonder is Mike Wallace ashamed of himself in retrospect (due to many of the view points being his own and not quotations)? He really should be.
The sad part is that you have people who STILL feel this way. This documentary is not ancient history by a long shot. If it were up to a sizeable portion of Americans gays would be lynched (they’d probably give a pass to lesbians…seeing as most of the bigots believe that all the girls need is some serious dicking down).
If you can spare 45 minutes and manage to keep your food down please watch this video. It is an eye opener. This was pre-stonewall; pre-gay liberation, and pre-HIV/AIDS.
The NFL has stirred up the obligatory controversy. Not since Janet’s big ole titty was exposed has such a ruckus run amok in the world of advertisement. For those of you not in the know…
Mancrunch.com, a gay dating website, recently purchased ad space for this years’ Superbowl. Anyway, the commercial features two very average looking gentlemen watching a football game (benign enough). Suddenly, one of them reaches for some candy the same time the other one does. Well, instead of violently asserting their heterosexuality (ala the last Superbowl commercial for Snickers that never aired) the two start making out on the couch (really heavy like).
Of course CBS rejected the ad (like a duh?) along with an anti-abortion piece. So, I can see the network not wanting to make Superbowl night about hot button issues. Yet, nevertheless here are my thoughts…
Like it or not...I see more women who look like this everyday than I'd like to.
I thought the commercial in and of itself was extremely: low budget, tacky, crass, and boorish. The gay factor was used for shock value, no more no less. What would have been so bad about a tastefully done commercial? For instance…
Same setting. Same dudes. Only dude in the green jersey is cuddled up next to his boo whilst watching the game. No one would’ve been able to cause an uproar over that. It would have made a statement and been non controversial.Therefore, I am convinced that is what mancrunch.com was going for. They were banking on the controversy and their viewership has probably gone sky high since then.
Lastly, the people who made a huge stink over it are the same ones who would have laughed had some woman tackled a man and slobbed him down. However, I digress. People get quite angry when confronted with their own hypocrisy.
Besides, that isn’t what this is about…
Chile, this is about the idea that sex between two (or more) men is somehow disgusting. Ugh, the mere insinuation makes me so mad!
I’ll read on the internet and listen to homophobic straight people talk about, “Ew, I don’t see how they do it! That is sooooo nasty,” or “Eeeeewwww they do it in the booty” and other sh*t like that. Furthermore, I’ve often heard homophobic straight men (well, I am presuming they are straight given their preoccupation with all things gay related) crassly state, “I can’t imagine two rusty legged dudes in da bed together bro!” (note: these are the same guys who loudly applaud lesbians when in fact they don’t like lesbians at all. They like big breasted bimbos that pretend to be lesbians just for their demented sexist pleasure…Moreover, in actuality the “lesbians” they covet so much would not touch them even in their fantasies)
My response to that is…
Most Gay Guys at the club
Perhaps you can’t imagine it because for the most part it is RARELY ever true! Gay men with “Rusty Legs” is the equivalent of finding a pig with a pearl necklace and elegant ball gowns (excluding Miss Piggy). If I see a gay man with ashy legs and ugly feet I’m pretty sure that he probably just came out and needs another gay to help him along the beaten path…
Anyway…
Many people have it in their minds that gay sex is somehow filthy and unhygienic simply because anal sex is so prevalent between men (which I don’t understand seeing as more and more men are persuading their women to let them go “Back Door.” Furthermore, if you ask me poking a hole that spews monthly blood and human beings is just as “nasty” as one that emits fecal matter…Then again that is just me). Moreover, those same individuals equate gay sex with pain and domination (e.g. their imagination is awash with ghastly images of prison with one guy getting bent over and gang banged by the bloods and crips).
Also, don’t even get me started on the delusional fantasy world wherein ALL women are fine featured; delicately crafted by god (from the rib of Adam); gamine creatures with bountiful breasts and pouty lips all created to appeal to men’s loins. Yes, the guy could look like a cross between Patrick Ewing and Wesley Snipes but still a stunning creature of the utmost pulchritude awaits his beck and call…
Now for the reality check…
The average American woman more closely resembles Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg…Not Halle Berry. Now that is the gospel truth (can I get an amen?). So, I’d like to know what could POSSIBLY be more revolting? One of those women or some hot looking gay guy?
Be that as it may, given my experience, as a gay man, gay sex is completely and totally hygienic. Do you know how much dedication it takes for me to prepare myself to go out into the world everyday (just in case some dude wants to holla)? Now factor in another two hours for my regimen when I definitely know some sex is going to be involved! Ladies and gents it is dedication, pure and simply put.
Some people operate under the archaic notion that men as a whole are base beings (particularly radical feminists). Men are dumb and filthy barbarians that don’t care for such trivialities like: manicured hands, pedicured feet, sweet scents, and a clean ass. These brutish creatures, according to every single episode of Oprah in history, need wives and girlfriends to reach their pinnacle in terms of cleanliness and etc al.
Well honey I’m certainly not the guy they are referring to, or most gay men for that matter. Chile, whenever I have a date I start preparing a day in advance just to get there on time (I don’t believe in being fashionably late)! After taking my shower I slather my body in St. Ives moisturizer before dabbing scented oils (Nubian musk and blue nile are my scents of choice) behind my ears and on my chest (sometimes I’ll even use body spray) and various nether regions. Then I have to brush/floss my teeth; wash and moisturize my face (cannot use the same body moisturizer for the face); clean my ears, trim my nose hairs; and condition and comb my hair! That is all before I start getting dressed!
Now, if you’re talking purely SEXUAL hygiene then that’s a whole NOTHA story. Being that I’m mostly a bottom (Yes, I admit it! There is no shame in that whatsoever. Pfft!) there is a whole heap of responsibility place squarely on my buttocks (so to speak). Afterall, I’m not going to allow myself to get the sordid reputation of having a bad ass (and I don’t mean bad as in good). Once word gets around you’re screwed (not in a good way). Granted, I am not about to divulge the details of my cleansing ritual but please believe that I’m so clean you could probably eat food off my body…
Most straight men where I grew up.
And I really believe the same can be said about 90% of gay men be they butch/fem, black/white, and old/young. Yeah, some guys might go for that tattered and torn look (e.g. older, rugged, more mature, and masculine) but most of the time they are gonna smell like some good cologne.
The idea that gay sex is so dirty is a myth derived from rampant homophobia, old wives tales, and puritanical folkways. Trust me, I’ve been to the gay clubs. I’ve seen guys that literally have their faces BEAT (made up) better than ANY female I’ve ever seen honey. Hell, my friend Freddy wears “M for Mariah” fragrance! He smells just like a woman (lol). Furthermore, and perhaps it is just the clubs I’ve been in, but EVERYONE is hot…even if they aren’t hot. Gay men don’t be half steppin when it comes to our looks and hygiene.
If anything I’d think heterosexual sex might be gross seeing as the only requirements that most women have for a man is that they be employed and have a good sense of humor (which totally leaves everything else to chance. ew). I don’t think I’d ever willingly toss a straight guy’s salad, even if he looked really good (chances are, since he’s only been with women, he ain’t worry about being clean back there!). I’ve seen heterosexual women with men that I’ve literally thought, “How does she let him touch her without recoiling?” Furthermore, once the majority of hetero guys get married even if they are cute they let their appearance go to pot. They just sit on the couch; drink their beers; eat pizza; belch; scratch themselves; and scream at the television; while they beg their wives to bring them more beer. How these men have any sex, aside from their right hand, mystifies me. These are the same guys that believe every gay guy secretly lusts to be with them by virtue of them being male. Uhm, well, may I shock the world with this statement be we (gays) really are quite selective!
Just the other day I discovered that an old friend of mine recently started a youtube channel. Naturally, I was thrilled to blazes and subscribed to his channel. However, I was shocked beyond all measure when he created a video about what he was looking for in his ideal woman…
Hold up! Stop! Rewind! Uhm, like totally stop the presses! Did I miss something?
First of all I met this cat a few years ago on a website for young GAY men dealing with the rigors of coming out. He and I hit it off quite well and began talking, extensively, via: message board inbox, e-mail, and telephone. We were leaning on each other during that period and became good friends. Anyway, while my experience was pretty harrowing he was contemplating suicide due to feelings of: confusion, isolation, and etc al.
So, color me confused when I see that he’s telling the Vlog world that he’s heterosexual (all the while lisping like Sylvester The Cat saying “Sufferin Suckatash” and flailing his wrists about like broken palm trees). Granted, I’ve not talked to him in a hot minute but it left me wondering, “What could have happened to him?” Perhaps he caved into the pressure of his family and religious background that his “abomination” was a one way ticket to hell? Or maybe he discovered he was bisexual? Or perhaps he’s merely doing it to have a successful youtube video series (which I don’t understand seeing as B Scott and various other video gays are upfront and out)?
I don’t understand him but I’ve met several men like this. Men who will add you as a friend on Facebook but delete your comments because either your picture or comments are deemed too “gay” (and he is playing it “straight” for his family and “friends” on his list).
The idea of this kind of charade maddens me. It is understandable when you’re coming out to use discretion; however, the secretive nature of many men (especially black men) is enough to make me want to scream. Myself, I’m out to everyone. So, perhaps I’ve forgotten what it means to be totally closeted and self loathing? I try very hard to empathize with others; however, I hate trying to be someone’s friend when they want me to censor myself in an effort to perpetuate their facade.
Needless to say I was dissappointed in him seeing as my friend had come so far on his journey. As it is I still support him in whatever he’s going through. I refuse to say his name because I’m not that kind of person. But hopefully he gets a grip on reality before he drags some unsuspecting young woman into his delusional la-la land.
I found this video so wonderfully affirming. It’s called “The Black Gay Male Pledge of Allegiance.” I initially saw it on Facebook and quickly friended the author (Derek McMahon) afterwards.
It made me stop and think about the ritualistic psychological abuse that the black community places on LGBT youth, particularly the church. So many lives have been destroyed because of spiritual gay bashing. Words really do have power. When authority figures (parents and spiritual leaders) tell you you’re: sick, perverted, nasty, dirty, sinful, and reprobate long enough you eventually believe it (whether you want to or not). This is why I believe STD’s are so rampant among many black LGBT’s. If you don’t believe you are worth anything why should you bother having protected sex? Why should you bother getting tested for STI’s? Why should any of it matter when inside you’re already dead?
The irony is that sexually transmitted diseases grow and flourish in the darkness. The Black community, in terms of homosexuality, is lost in the dark. It will be up to brave black LGBT’s to shed light on the situation by simply standing up and being counted. It really is a matter of life and death.
I remember an acquaintance of mine named Trevor. Trevor and I attended the same southern black Baptist Holy Roller church in the late 1990′s. Trevor was leader of the youth group, lead singer in the choir, and one of the smartest kids I knew. He seemed like he had such a bright future ahead of him. Well, after our church fell apart (there was a huge controversy that involved one of my family members) I didn’t see Trevor again until 2003.
Oneday I was coming home from work to drop some mail off at the post office. Trevor was meandering around in the parking lot begging for money. Initially I had no idea who he was. His skin was covered in lesions; he was emaciated; and he looked completely disheveled. Anyway he recognized me and called my name. I did a double take. Once I got a good look at him I knew who it was. So I smiled and said hi. He asked me how me and my family were. We had a little small talk before he asked me for a dollar. So I gave him two dollars. That was the LAST time I ever saw him again. The next thing I knew, two weeks later, he was dead from AIDS related complications. He was 27-years-old (He would have been 33 now).
It was rumored that Trevor had gotten hooked on drugs and hustled. I don’t know the entire story but it didn’t end happily. He had so much promise and it really shook me the way he went out…
Now, it makes me wonder which one of our wicked pastor’s sermons sent him over the edge? Which bible scripture (other than that Leviticus one) did his loved ones hurl his way consistently? Which of his relatives told him to stop lisping when he talked because it made him sound like a “sissy?” How many times was he called a “Faggot” or “punk” by his peers? I wonder how many men did Trevor give himself to simply because he wanted love (like so many other gay men who go that route), even if it was momentary? How many of them lied and said he was special but threw him away like garbage after the act was complete? How many nights did he stay up and pray that he could be “healed” from his “perversion?” How much can one person endure before they finally break?
I told myself that I never wanted to end up like Trevor, ever. Which is why I’ve made it my purpose to counteract all the negativity levied against me by the “community.”
To that end this has inspired me to write my own personal manifesto. Every black gay person should write his or her own. This is 2010. It is time to end all these negative statistics and start loving ourselves for who we truly are.
Thank you Mr. McMahon for throwing down the gauntlet!
Times, they are a changin! One Life To Live is the first Daytime soap to feature a gay love scene. My head is still swimming because I never thought I’d live to see the day! (lol) Furthermore, what was all the more pleasing was the viewer reaction. No one (except perhaps rightwing bigots) had anything negative to say about it.
Speaking of which…
The scene made me recall fondly my first time. I made so many mistakes on my trial run. The biggest was allowing my nine inch boyfriend to top me (doggy style). Uhm…yeah. It felt like he was all the way in my throat. I was sobbing into the pillow(and so out of breathe that I couldn’t vocalize). So I punched him on the thigh to make him stop. He stopped and apologized profusely. Afterwards it got A LOT better (A LOT) but the first time really sucked (no pun intended).
![[LIRRhomophobiaAD.jpg]](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t6rV3U9ZEHM/S3UOTTcvCKI/AAAAAAAAqFc/knHcxaCjZ2Q/s1600/LIRRhomophobiaAD.jpg)
toddyenglish
@$$ Is Not The New Vagina
Rumpalicious!
Dear Friends:
I’m having a huge problem lately. I’m still trying to figure out why so many gay men (well those of the bottom persuasion that is) refer to their rectal orfices (okay @$$holes) by such endearing nicknames like: Boi pussy, kitty cat, boogina, mangina, and etc al? Since when did ass become the new vagina?
Moving right along…
Okay, so whenever my good acquaintance and I delve into raunchy sex conversations (well, it’s mainly him. I am so demure when it comes to frank sex talk in public, lol) he’ll jokingly say, “Gwarl, when is the last time you had yo pussy cat stroked?” Of course that particular inquiry is always good for a chuckle; however, I’m often left standing with the metaphorical glaring neon question mark floating above head. It makes no sense why anyone would compare their ass to actual genitalia. Moreover, why would a grown man relate his ass to lady parts?
To me the mere idea makes me feel like I’m totally emasculating myself. I already know that being more “bottomly inclined” comes with a tremendous amount of stigma (even in gay society). However, I take no shame in it. It is how pleasure is derived for me. I simply refuse to compare my body, a man’s body, to that of a woman’s. I think women are beautiful. I’m just not one of them. Which is why I don’t understand the need to nickname your ass with a colorful descriptor generally used to describe the pleasure zones of a woman.
One guy I know refers to his rump as ”booty candy.” Are you kidding me? Booty candy? Uhm, no honey. The last thing that’s coming out of your ass, after you done knocked back those chili nachos, is candy (unless you consider your excrement to be fudge pops or something). In addition I hate, hate, HATE, it when a dude says, “Chile, I saw a man so fine he made me moist!” Can you say EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW? Uhm, look, if you’re moist back there–sans working up a sweat–then you need to seek immediate medical attention (or invest in depends undergarments). Sweetie, that is NOT the LOOK.
Furthermore, I could see calling your asshole something akin to a “pussy” or “kitty cat” if no one else, but gay men who
assume the bottom position, had an asshole. However, EVERYONE–including women–have assholes. Hell, I think cock roaches have assholes too. That region of your body is not distinctive. So, why steal “pussy” from the ladies? Chile, you ain’t Beyonce. Your asshole is not a Kitty Cat, end of story.
Granted, I’m not up here preaching. If you are convinced your ass is a pussy then do you boo boo. I just don’t get it.
Anyway, I apologize for sounding crass (oh my god I’ve never sworn that much in my life, haha)but this was on my mind(lol).
With L-O-V-E…
Sincerely,
Toddy English.