I Deny The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit: True Confessions of a Black, Gay Atheist.

Dear Friends:

If you’re of the Christian faith the title of this writing may probably be sacrilege and inflammatory to you. If so that was the intent. Now many of you know precisely how I, and many others of my ilk, feel when we tell you we don’t believe in a God and you look at us as though we arrived from the distant planet Bonobo inhabited by flying purple juice pigs. 

My name is Toddy English and I am, in fact, an ATHEIST (and NO this is not an alcoholics anonymous meeting.There is no shame in this playa’s game).

Now, allow me to preface by stating that I have nothing against Christians or Christianity (unless you are Christian and infringing upon my rights and civil liberties, then that is a problem). I am just sick and tired of being ridiculed and castigated simply because I don’t have faith in a God that NO ONE can even prove exists.

Let me state that this is just a rant. I am not going to write a series of essays, ala Sam Harris or Richard Dawkins, deconstructing religious faith. This is just a personal problem that I have with, “People of faith.”  I am fed up with being demonized by fundamentalist Christians for being an atheist. And when I openly profess my none faith it Invokes the arrogant and condescending, “I’ll pray for you” comments. Or, if I’m lucky, I’ll have an exorcism performed for me right on the spot(usually only black people do this)! My favorite is when people say, “See, that’s why you’re leading the homosexSHULL lifestyle. Its cuz you’ve forsaken the lawd and Save yah Jaysus Christ. Ah’m gonna pray for you…” Or when someone gives me those sad puppy dog eyes as if to say, “You’re soooo nice. Its too bad you are going to bathe in the lake of fire for all eternity. Hope you have your moisturizer!”

Look, pray for me because my mother is sick. Don’t pray for me when I don’t have a problem outside of not believing in YOUR God, okay?

And if I have to listen to one more person ask me, “What church do you attend?” or “Do you have a church home?” or, “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Personal Savior” I am going to scream louder than a porn star being screwed by a tag team tandem of Tiger Tyson and Thugzilla! Don’t even get me started on the people who insert themselves into your life just to get you “saved,” as if God (If there is one) is going to give them brownie points for spending time with an infidel.

My intent is to let all of you know that we ATHEISTS do exist. And we are NOT the monsters that we are portrayed to be by members of the Christian church! Not only do the negative perceptions anger me but the assumption that EVERYONE believes (and is supposed to believe) in a God is maddening! 

Yesterday, I happened to be watching a DVRed episode of The View (all right guys, if you are male and watch The View regularly you have some homoerotic tendencies. Deal with it and move on) and Kirk Cameron was a featured guest.

Anyone who knows Kirk knows that he was Mike Seaver on “Growing Pains” and, more recently, the star of the “Left Behind” films (based on those books by Tim Lahaye and some other guy…). Well, Kirk (who looks really good by the way) lamented upon the trappings of child stardom (aw poor baby. You had millions who loved and adored you and a fat paycheck…That is a fate worse than having to shop at Walmart). Anyway, he went onto espouse his views about the power of God and Faith. Y’know, I am completely fine with that. Like I said I believe in the freedom of religious expression. Whatever works for you then do YOU boo boo.

However, what chapped my cheeks was when he said, “I used to be an Atheist.”
It wasn’t the fact that he uttered that particular phrase. It was the implication that came along with it. It was the mere insinuation that atheism was somekind of way station for immaturity and debauchery prior to “evolving” towards an idyllic Christian life(i.e. wife, 2.5 kids, a golden retriever, and house in the burbs…). Okay, Kirk may not have meant this. So I will give him the benefit of the doubt (even though he is one of the most judgmental and ignorant people I’ve ever seen). HOWEVER, the majority of the times most Christians, and pious religious types of all stripes, have this linear and quite ignorant view of what it means to be an Atheist. So I’ve decided to set the record straight.

I AM an ATHEIST. I don’t worship the devil. I don’t offer babies as blood sacrifices to my lord and master Lucifer The Shining Star (an extension of number one). I don’t draw pentagrams on the kitchen floor and stand in the center whilst chanting for an undead army to take over planet Earth (although that would be pretty cool). I’m not an alcoholic, compulsive over eater, or sex addict, in an effort to fill the void left by having no God. I am not angry at God (in order to do that I would have to believe a God exists, which I don’t). I don’t dress like Marilyn Manson (okay maybe for Halloween). I am not angry at the church (righteously indignant against it, maybe. Angry? No). I don’t hate Christians (my mother is devoutly Christian and I love her more than air). I don’t hope for the eradication of organized religion (just complete separation of Church and state is fine with me). And I don’t ridicule and mock people who believe in a God. Oh, and I am not some nihilistic emo who feels like there is nothing left to live for, so we might as well slash our wrists and get it over with.

I am an ATHEIST. I simply don’t believe in an anthropomorphic God (or Goddess) that created the universe, no more no less. It really is quite simple.

“Well, what do you believe in?” Most Christians ask…

I believe in the universe and all that it encompasses. For me that is tangible. And I take comfort in knowing that I am an intrinsic part of the world around me. I love knowing that I am permitted, by the universe, to take part in LIFE. I don’t need a God to give me personal fulfillment and purpose. I give that to myself by appreciating life and everything that is beautifully human: great art, music, food, nature, sex, romance, my loved ones, and–most important of all–myself. And just knowing that everyday I wake up is a new start is more than enough for me. As Ulysses said, “I shall drink life to the lees!”

So, Christians, before you judge open your minds and hearts and get to know me. I am happy being just who I am. So, I appreciate your religious beliefs and what they do for you. But allow me to be a happy infidel sans the obnoxious testimonies about Jesus. Aight?

Cheers!
God Bless (teeheehee Just kiddin)!

With love…
Sincerely,
Toddy English.

Imagine…

“Imagine there’s no heaven/ It’s easy if you try/No hell below us/ Above us only sky/ Imagine all the people living for today/ Imagine there’s no countries /It isn’t hard to do/ Nothing to kill or die for/ And no religion too /Imagine all the people/ Living life in peace…”

“Imagine” by John Lennon
 Dear Friends,

Those were the lyrics from one of–I feel–the greatest songs ever written, “Imagine” by John Lennon (the late, great, Ex-Beatle). The song is magical in its complexity, yet the message is so unbelievably simple and sincere. Some critics accused Lennon of endorsing a communist dictatorship. But I certainly beg to differ. So, before anyone goes all Joseph McCarthy on me for enjoying this song, just hear me out for a minute. I’m going to make a point with this.
 
Okay, I’ll preface this by stating that I am an atheist. All right now put down the crucifixes and rosary beads people! I’m not demon possessed nor do I eat newborn infants for breakfast (although some are so cute you just want to bite their little fat jaws, teeheehee). I simply don’t believe in any Gods, Goddesses, demons, devils, curses, hexes, and all that other good stuff. My belief, or lack thereof (depending upon how you want to look at it) simply is what it is (or isn’t). I told you this privileged information because it pertains to the topic of this letter…

I feel compelled to ask this question, not only to the very religious but also to EVERY human being that professes a personal relationship with a God, Goddess, or cosmic entity…

What if it could be definitively proven that there was no God, Goddess, or anything of the sort? What would happen if tomorrow a world renewed scientist found definitive, conclusive, inalienable, tangible evidence that God–the anthropomorphized Judeo Christian entity in particular–did, in fact, NOT exist. And no matter what any pastor or theologian said to the contrary he or she could not refute the scientist’s findings? For all intents and purposes God as we know him, her, or it, would be “dead.” What would become of us as a race, the human race? What would happen to every single society that bases its mores and folkways upon the concepts of their religion of choice? Would the warring in the Middle East cease and desist? Or would it continue and become even worse now that Allah is rendered irrelevant? Would Christians still war with Muslims about whose God is the right God? Would anti-Semites finally give Jews a reprieve from thousands of years of hatred and oppression? Most important of all what would become of you my friends, as individuals?

If tomorrow you found out, definitively, that God was no more authentic than the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, or Clay Aiken’s alleged heterosexuality…What would it mean to you as one of the faithful? Would you suddenly turn to a life of craven debauchery? Would you forsake all of your morality and lead the life of a crazed lunatic? Would the concepts of right and wrong still factor into your life? Would you kill someone just because you thought you could get away with it? Because, afterall, in a world without a God, you would no longer be subject to a life governed by fear of eternal damnation. There would be no ramifications for your actions in the afterlife that no longer exists…Would you choose good or evil? Love or hate?

My friends this inquiry is predicated on the notion that the good in mankind is not mandated by fear of divine reprisal, whether it be karma or judgment.  I believe that we are ALL truly better than that. Any goodness, charity, and empathy that we express towards others–I feel–is apart of the beauty of being human. Do we truly need a God to tell us to be loving and charitable to one another? Or is it merely our being apart of a community that encourages it? Is being kind for the sake of being kind too difficult to fathom? Or must there be a system of order within all of this neatly arranged chaos?

What if we KNEW that there was no hell below us? Would you still be nice and help that random old lady cross the street? Or would you kick her into oncoming traffic just because she got short with you? Would you still donate to charity in an effort to relieve the victims of genocide and war?

What if there were no heaven? Would you continue ignoring your dying relative; whom you haven’t seen in ages; simply because of a petty grudge (Knowing, deep down, that the only reason you don’t see this hypothetical relative is because you believe it will all be better, for the two of you, in the after life)?  Or would you take a break from Sunday church service to be by your beloved’s side, now knowing that once he or she is gone they are gone forever? Would kindness still take precedence in your life if your religious texts were no longer true (in theory)? Would our society descend into anarchy and chaos simply because we no longer had anything epic to believe in? Would you still value your worth as human being, knowing now that you were not created in the image of a God nor were your steps divinely ordered?

Or…

Would you continue to live, learn, grow, and love? And would you do so even more ferociously than you did before? Would you cherish the planet, the environment, animals, and your fellow men and women just as you did when you had Jesus (or whatever God you thought you knew)? If tomorrow we found out there was no grand design, and that everything happened by chance, would you cease to cherish your collective existences simply because you were not molded and given the breathe of life by a cosmic being? Or would you feel compelled to savor every single breathe you took, from that day forward, like a juicy sirloin morsel? Because in this new world every single moment would be too precious to waste. 

My friends, I ask you to imagine this scenario simply because…

Life is like a fleeting wisp of vapor, there it is and there it isn’t. Just as surely as you have it it can be gone just as certainly. And, most important of all, you only get ONE shot to make the most of the time that you are given. Death is a brutal reminder of how precious we ALL are, from the greatest to the smallest of us. Whether you be a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, Atheist, Agnostic, Deist, or any other belief (or lack thereof) you are valued by someone, even if they aren’t Gods.

So I urge you…No, I dare you to be compassionate and empathize with others using all of your heart, soul, and mind! No matter what you believe in set aside a little time and tell that special someone that you love him or her.  Take the moment to give that person a hug. You’ll be surprised when you let go before they do! Take the time to help that ailing family member get back on his or her feet. Because you never know when you will need them to lean on. And when you see some poor dejected soul shambling down the street smile and offer a lovely word of encouragement. Because you will never know if you stopped that individual from going home and overdosing on a vicodin bottle. And, while you’re at it, how about putting your Bible away and going over to have a chat with your gay or lesbian brother or sister, whom you haven’t seen in years, simply because your pastor told you their “lifestyle” was abominable. Trust me, they will be happy to see you…even if you were a bastard to them.

Now, allow me to reiterate. This question was completely hypothetical. I’m not trying to convert believers into atheists. All I want you to do is think about it. And, perhaps, implement a little more love, kindness, and compassion into your everyday life, without fear of what is going to possibly happen to you when you die. Just do it because it feels good to you!

Love everyday and everyone around you like you will never do so again. Yes, follow your faith. If it helps you then cling to it like Linus does his blanket. But instead of using it to ridicule and condemn others how about affirming and heaping well wishes upon them instead? What if we took a little bit of time to uplift our fellow men (and women) instead of devaluing and undermining them? What a radical concept, eh? Hell (no pun intended), I think we could change the world. *smile*

So, I beseech you all to imagine a world in which people love each other without fear, remorse, or consequence, inspite of there being no God.
Think about it my friends…
It’s easy if you try. =0)

Love you much!
Sincerely,
Toddy English.