Dear Friends:
Would you date someone that was HIV positive? Have you dated someone that was HIV positive? Are you with someone that is HIV positive?
A few months ago (around my birthday) I made an Adam4Adam account. After being touched by Jesus (literally) I felt compelled to indulge in a random fling or two. Well, after about two dates I gave that up. I’m so not the hooky uppy type.
Well, let’s fast forward to a few months later, some gentlemen hit up my old account a week ago. Anyway, bypassing all the details, this guy turned out to be really fabulous. Granted, I’m just basing it off of appearance. When he opened up his pictures I thought, “Oh my goodness!” He’s really tall, slim, and VERY handsome (in a professional GQ type of way), I’m talking WHIP APPEAL handsome (i.e. “Chile, I got WHIP LASH turnin round to look at that man!”). He’s older (like in his 40′s) and had a wonderful grasp of the english lexicon (he could actually complete sentences! Something you don’t find a lot on A4A).
So, after talking to him for a minute, I read his profile in depth. The first thing that jumped out at me was his HIV status. Like a neon sign “POSITIVE” just jumped out at me like an exploding supernova. “Oh my god…” I thought. It threw me for a loop that’s for sure.
Granted, I think it’s righteous that he knows his status and is honest about it. However, I admit that dating an HIV positive guy has never been high up on my list of wants, needs, dreams, and desires. Personally, I’m all for people finding true love; however, I don’t think I could be completely free–sexually–with someone HIV positive. I’m not a bigot. That’s just how I feel right now.
Well, he wants to meet me in person oneday. I’m thinking I would like to be his platonic friend.
Toddy English
I can hear where you are coming from, but, at the same time, I don’t see why it would not be nice to meet him if he seems like a nice guy. While, I’m negative, if, I were in dating the dating world, I would go out with someone who isn’t. Oddly enough, there are men and women who are positive, and, are healthier than some who are negative.
And, from what I’ve heard and read, positive guys are more apt to make sure you stay negative than the negative ones who are getting on and down with anything that walks, and, most of the time not with safer sex practices. And, at least with this kind of guy, they are up front about his status, there are way too many dudes who are and won’t tell you.
All that said, dating is just plain old difficult nowadays!
Comment by Jared — February 28, 2010 @ 9:45 pm |
Nope, I wouldn’t. I can’t imagine handling the stress– worrying about being safe, as well as his health. I don’t think it’s impossible for everyone, but it is for me. Now, if I befriended a guy and fell in love with him before knowing his status, or despite knowing his status, then I would maybe give it a try. But starting a dating relationship, no.
Comment by Alex — March 1, 2010 @ 4:07 am |
I agree with this. Presently, I am just not emotionally available to the idea. Maybe if I really got to know the person and felt 100% secure about the idea then MAYBE. But right now…NO. I am all for being platonic friends, but that’s the extent of it for me.
I would not function well in such a situation, emotionally.
Comment by toddyenglish — March 1, 2010 @ 3:04 pm |
Most likely not, I believe in 1 true love.. i date but intend to spend my life wit one person.. if a HIV positive person was the one who i thought was my one and only for the rest of my life then i would give it a try.. but not right now i wouldnt be able to go through that, emotionaly..
Comment by dani — March 1, 2010 @ 5:23 pm |
Like a neon sign “POSITIVE” just jumped out at me like an exploding supernova
That statement is so true. But when they leave that option blank I automatically assume they are positive and just don’t want the world to know.
Comment by flintstone — March 3, 2010 @ 2:34 am |
I’m not sure, I could
Comment by wondermann — March 3, 2010 @ 7:42 am |
Wow. I just fell in love with a positive guy. Strangely though, he broke my heart tonight by saying he couldn’t. ever date someone negative because he only will play unsafe. I had spent lots of time reading and preparing for our first sexual encounters, psyching myself up for it, overcoming stigmas and fears. I was so akward the first time, and we didn’t even f*ck. And it was all for nothing. Keep it Platonic for now. Make sure he is ready for more than a friendship.
Comment by 805Blaine — July 16, 2010 @ 6:36 am |
GO FOR IT…..I DID….I LOVE MY HIV POSITIVE GUY WHO WAS BORN WITH IT. HOW WE MET WAS THRU A FRIEND AND I SAW THIS NICE LOOKING GUY WELL DRESSED AND SAID UMMM I JUST GOTTA HAVE HIM. AND TO A SURPRISE IN HIS MIND HE WAS THINKING THE SAME. WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE THEN WE ARE VERY MUCH INTO EACH OTHER HE’S HEALTHY AND WE KISS HUG HOLD HANDS ETC. WE ARE GETTING READY TO HAVE OUR FIRST SEXUAL ENCOUNTER SOON I CANT WAIT IVE DONE A LOT OF RESEARCH IM NOT AFRAID. I LOVE HIM. LOVE CONQUERS ALL.
Comment by pretty gal — January 9, 2011 @ 4:03 pm |
I just recently met a great guy. We been seein eachother but havent been sexually active. And he just told me he is HIV and for some reason am so calm about it. I am surprised about my reaction. But i think all of it is because I am in love and I think if there is love things can work out. More of us wil be at less risk if ppl found out thier status and were honest bout it. Really now I kno Wht am gettin into and kno I have to be very cautious. I do understand some negative ppl can’t do wht am bout to do. But hey we all different
Comment by Prince — January 25, 2011 @ 6:22 am |