About Last Night...

Dear Friends:

Against my better judgement I went out last night (with my associate Freddy) to a New Year’s Eve party. I was thinking of making some popcorn and ringing in the new year with Dick (Clark that is); however, Freddy told me about this party that a friend of a friend of his was throwing. So I thought,”what the hell.” So I threw together something fly (but not too formal) and drove (in my car. If I turned out to be crazy I was gonna bring my ass right home) us there.

Alright, so we get there and, of course, it is in a semi ghetto area. However, at least it wasn’t the projects (wasn’t too worried about not having my bullet proof Tommy Hilfiger vest). So we get in and it’s chock full of people, primarily dudes (there were a few females. But it was quite obvious that this was a gay party). Freddy introduced me to his friend and the host of the party (they were really nice. The party host(ess) was this super fabulous drag queen) and went to mix and mingle with some people that he knew. On my way in I saw this brotha working the room and he was quite nice looking. He smiled and gave the obligatory “whassup” head nod. I returned the gesture and continued on until I found the mini bar-bartender. He made me a rum and coke (sans any rum. I’m driving)…

Okay, so I make eye contact with another random guy hanging out with his little group a few feet away from the bar. He was cute too! So he acknowledged my glance and came over to talk to me. We walked away from the bar into a more subdued area. He and I made small talk and started to really click. Of course the more he talked the more it became clear that he couldn’t make his subjects and verbs agree on even the most rudimentary level (i.e. not boyfriend material). But he was cool nevertheless (and cute). Alright, getting to the good part, the guy I saw coming in came over while me and guy number one (Ray. That’s his name) were talking. Guy number two (Alfred) walks right in the middle of me and Ray and starts talking to me as if Ray were never there. Oh…My…God. That was so seriously awkward.

At first I was going to do the polite thing and say hi and introduce the two of them or something…

But before I could smooth the situation over Ray got heated and asked Alfred what his problem was (just not exactly in those words). Alfred told him, “N*gg* u betta back up off of me with that sh*t.” Then Ray started gettin all loud about how Alfred was always trying to cock block and the next thing I see Alfred pushes Ray and Ray hauls off and punches Alfred. After that it was PANDEFUCKINMONIUM! The two of them started going AT IT punching the shit out of each other! I was just standing there with my eyes bulging out of the sockets and my jaw on the floor! At first I thought, “Maybe I should try and break this up?” But they were two strong looking dudes. I didn’t want no part of that. That’s when everybody else in the damn house started descending on the scene like some ravenous vultures. Finally, after several seconds the host, bar tender, and a couple other dudes had to pry them apart…Then they threw them out.

After the initial shock wore off it dawned on me…

I think they were totally fighting over ME! (lol) Admittedly, even though they could have mortally injured one another, that was kind of an ego booster. ::shrug:: Of course those two probably hated each other before they even met me; however, it was neat being the catalyst for an all out brawl.

Anyway, Freddy and I hung out for another hour before going home. It was a nice party. There was a drag show (they were impersonating old skool divas), lots of music, and count down to the New Year.

Of course Freddy teased me about the incident on the way home (while I had to maneuver around drunken FOOLS).

I’m sorta glad I went out…lol.

Toddy English.