The Great Gay Divide (I love Chris Crocker…lol)

           

           

Dear Friends:

Here is another fabulous video from Miss Chris Crocker. I love him. Hands down Chris is my favorite youtuber because, inspite of the mania (lol), he is always 100% about his. Anyway, this video is about the great “Masculive Vs. Feminine” battle in the gay community.

Toddy English.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (Reloaded)

        

             

Dear Friends:

A Nightmare on Elm Street did NOT need a reboot, at all. The original is a classic that still holds up over twenty years later. This one looks alright (not a complete bastardization); however, is it just me or do all of the actors in these rebooted horror films look EXACTLY alike? The only one I recognize is John Connor from the Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Anyway, I’m ambivalent. If it doesn’t scare the shit out of me (like the original one still does) then it’s a failure.

Sincerely,

Toddy English.

Warren G Joins Tim Hardaway in the “Stupid Ghetto Homophobe” Hall of Shame.

Dear Warren G:

Stop hanging around with convicted felons, getting busted for selling (and smoking) weed, and etc al THEN come and school me (and the gay community) on being good role models.

Smooches!

Toddy English.

Dear Friends:

I guess you really don’t need to be intelligent to rap. Any moron from a rough neighborhood able to throw some words together can get an interview in Vanity Fair. My question: How in the HELL did Warren G (who has not made a blip on anyone’s radar since his fat ass was on celebrity fit club) get interviewed by Vanity Fair? That’s like Vogue doing a cover story on Miss Piggy.

What’s sad is that in the interview Warren G has the same attitude as the MAJORITY of the black community. If you’re gay just keep it in the closet. Meanwhile, I get to see ugly thugs in durags and grillz groping on their UGLY tatted up girlfriends at the bus stop. Great.

Toddy English.

VANITY FAIR - There seems to be two radically different factions in hip-hop regarding money management. On the one hand, you’ve got Lil’ Scrappy saying “Got a bank account (cha-ching) with a large amount/ If a nigga wanna talk, nigga we can let it bounce.” But then there’s P-Diddy bragging about poppin’ bottles of Cristal and decorating his pad with colossal Picasso’s. What’s your stance? Do you believe in saving your money for a rainy day, or blowing it on champagne and Cubism?

WARREN G - I think you should save the money for your kids and grandkids and stuff like that. But it ain’t really a bad thing to party every now and again. If you’re makin’ a lot of money, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with partying and makin’ yourself feel good and enjoying what you worked hard for. I ain’t mad at those artists rappin’ about money. But I also think we gotta teach these kids that money ain’t what it’s all about. You gotta start being a businessman or a businesswoman. Instead of just poppin’ open bottles of Cristal, we should be teaching them about business and stuff like that. I don’t just mean in terms of the hip-hop community. I mean blacks, whites, Latinos, everybody. As a generation, we need to start leading these kids down the right path. I mean, I ain’t against the gays or nothin’.

VANITY FAIR - Wait, what? You had me until the “I ain’t against the gays” part.

WARREN G - I ain’t against gay people. I’m just against it being promoted to kids.

VANITY FAIR - I’m sorry, I don’t follow. What does the recession have to do with gay propaganda?

WARREN G - I know people that’s gay. My wife’s got friends that are gay. I got family that’s gay. Cousins and shit. He cool as fuck. He cool as a motherfucker. He’s my homie. I just mean that on some of these TV shows, they got dudes kissing. And kids are watching that shit. We can’t have kids growing up with that.
VANITY FAIR - So you’ve got a “pot leads to heroin” theory about Hollywood homosexuality? Today there are men kissing on network TV, and tomorrow Grey’s Anatomy is all about mouth rape?

WARREN G - I know it happens, but let’s keep it behind the scenes. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with it if that’s what two dudes wanna do. Cool. But that’s not bring that out into the world, where the kids can see that. We don’t want all the kids doing that. ‘Cause that ain’t how we was originally put here to do. Like I said, I ain’t got no problem with the gays.

Facebook Sucks (Threats Against The President)

 

Dear Friends:

I am truly ashamed to be American at this moment. Well, I am ashamed of these: sick, demented, evil, and stupid rednecks that make up the excruciatingly vocal (and stupid) rightwing. Moreover, I am–in all likelihood–probably going to kill my facebook account too.

My righteous indignation stems from this bit of news…

The Secret Service is investigating the circumstances surrounding an eye-opening Facebook poll that asked whether Obama should be assassinated, a Secret Service spokesman confirms to us.

“We are taking the appropriate investigative steps,” the spokesman, Ed Donovan, told our reporter, Amanda Erickson. “We are aware of it.”

The poll asked: “Should Obama be killed?” It offered four choices: No, Maybe, Yes, and Yes if he cuts my health care.

The poll, of course, is only the latest example of the sort of viral incitement to violence that flares up when the sparks of anti-Obama hatred are fed oxygen by the bellows of the Internets. While anyone can put up such a poll, this kind of stuff is a sign of the moment — as David Kurtz put it, it’s akin to graffiti on the virtual wall of our times.

According to a source, the Secret Service has contacted Facebook and asked them to take the poll down. And, indeed, it’s already down.

Given that the Secret Service is investigating the circumstances of the poll, it seems clear that they’re looking into who was behind it. More if we learn it.

Anyway, I hope whoever started the poll (and the three percent who voted Yes) is arrested for attempting to inspire acts of sedition. Facebook should also be sued for even ALLOWING such a poll to exist.

Yeah, Facebook is a fun way to kill time sometime; however, I’m not that damn board.

Long live President Obama.

Sincerely,

Toddy English

Back In The Saddle (Dating Again)

Dear Friends:

After taking a sabbatical from dating for several months I’ve decided to start dating again. However, this time I’m taking a different approach. Instead of hoping that everyone I meet is going to jump the broom with me (tomorrow) I’m just going to have fun. That way I won’t be all broken up and dissappointed if it does not work out.

A year ago I went on like 25 different dates and NONE of them were compatible with me. However, I got so caught up in that I missed the fact that I actually did have fun with some of them. This time I’m focusing on that instead. I’m tired of having expectations. So, I’m going to just be merry.

Anyway, I have a date this Sunday. We are going to meet at the art museum.

Early Resolution (A Message To Someone I Love)

Dear Toddy English:

You’ve spent your life being kind and nurturing to others. Now, as we come upon a new year, take the time and give all of the love, compassion, and goodness back to yourself.

With Love…

Sincerely,

Yourself.

P.S.

Don’t make anyone a priority when they consider you an option.

Can Gay Men Drive (An enquiring mind needs to know!)?

Dear Friends:

Are there ANY eligible bachelor’s out there that can operate a motor vehicle? Are there any–besides me–that can and do operate cars? Oh my god lately it seems like I’m being inundated with guys that can’t drive and it’s really getting on my nerves.

Case In Point: I met this dude online about a month or so ago. He hit me up, we began trading messages, and really hit it off (plus he’s really handsome. Totally someone I would go for). He works a lot so we didn’t get to talk frequently; but whenever we do speak our conversation is always great. However, Jimmy (my name for him in this) dropped a bombshell on me today. Jimmy said that he rides the Metro bus. “Okay, cool…” I thought, initially. “Perhaps he just rides the bus because he’s contributing to the environment?” Wrong.  Jimmy went onto add that he had some nerve damage in his left foot (from surgery), so he hasn’t driven a car since 06′.

That was the last thing I wanted to hear. I smacked my forehead. Yet again have I managed to choose the one man–out of several–that doesn’t drive a car.

Look, I’m not shallow but is a valid driver’s license really too much to ask for? In the last year I’ve been on dates with about five or six guys that, for WHATEVER REASON, could not drive a car. Either they didn’t learn to drive a car at a young age or they have some sort of disability (that I find out about later) that doesn’t allow them. I’m not faulting anyone for being disabled; however, why do they constantly wind up being my companions. They ALWAYS wind up riding shotgun in my vehicle and it stinks because the favor can NEVER be returned.

I would prefer it if both me and my man drove cars. I would love to be picked up in his big Cadillac (or little dodge Neon) from time to time.  Moreover, it’s nice to be able to meet up someplace on a first date. Furthermore, I live in a HUGE city and seeing that I’m doing all the driving that is a lot of mileage on my car.

My ex-friend (the toxic one) started off riding Metro lift but, after we got to know each other, he wound up becoming a frequent passenger in MY car. I got rid of him and now a guy that I’m feelin can’t drive. Granted, Jimmy seems really swell. So far he’s my type; a college grad; working full-time, and has his own apartment. It’s not like he is using me for my wheels. I already know that I’m not going to play chauffeur ever again…

Why is it that in a room full of NASCAR drivers the one who can’t drive always gravitate to me?

Is it really too much to ask that a dude have a car?

Sincerely,

Toddy English

Would you use a Surrogate (Toddy’s Movie Picks)?

 

Dear Friends:

Today, me and my best friend went to see the movie “Surrogates” starring Bruce Willis (or if you’re gay like me…starring Boris Kodjoe) and I found it to be highly interesting and thought provoking. As a sci-fi junkie myself (Terminator, Star Trek, Star Wars, and pretty much anything of the sort is right up my street) I found myself riveted, seriously.

The movie takes place in the near future (no specific date is given) and key plot points are as follows…

1.) Androids called Surrogates were initially invented for a specific segment of the population; however, they were mass produced–for every man and woman (and some children)–and became a way of life.

Surrogates, essentially, are android avatars that act on behalf of their human controllers. Human beings are custom “fitted” with a surrogate who takes their place in the “real” world. Surrogates go to work, shopping, clubbing, and everything else that a normal person would do. Moreover, through their surrogate, human beings can partake in all of the sensations without any fear of accidental death.

2.) Since the creation of surrogates: crime, venereal disease, accidental death, and etc al have all but been eradicated now that human beings no longer have to leave the safety of their own homes.

However, as it always is in movies, paradise wouldn’t be paradise without trouble. When the first person dies, whilst operating a surrogate, all proverbial hell breaks loose. That’s when Bruce Willis’ character goes on a futuristic hunt for the surrogate killer.

Anyway, I loved the movie. This is a definite must see. I think the only thing the writers failed to explain was why didn’t these people develop bed sores from being completely immobile for 99.9% of the day? When you think about it the heavy dependence upon surrogates would be the end of humanity as we know it.

Oh, honey chile if you don’t go see it for anything else then see it for the Boris Kodjoe factor! He is major easy on the eyes, seriously.

Now, for the big question…

If the technology were ever invented (and let’s face it. Whenever science fiction movies suggest something the ideas usually become a reality) would you own and operate a surrogate? I found it very interesting how the majority of the surrogate owners in the film operated surrogates that looked NOTHING like their normal selves (as I said before one fat bald guy lived his life as a beautiful blonde woman via his surrogate). Everyone who designed a surrogate designed their fantasy selves.

Would surrogacy be beneficial to mankind or just a further descent into narcissism and isolation? In a way it is somewhat like that now. People use the internet as a surrogate of sorts. If you’re really bored you can be anyone on the internet. Hell, there is even a game called second life where you can create an avatar. Surrogates is second life multiplied 100x over!

I’d have a surrogate but only when I didn’t feel like getting out of bed to go to work. Moreover, I’d make my surrogate atleast 5’10.

Honey, That is NOT a Good Look on YOU!

No Ma’am. Chile, that is NOT cute. 

Friends, I’m not talking about Kanye’s fabulous girlfriend on the left, Amber Rose. I’m talking about “Gurlfriend” on the right.  Missthang need to…uhm…aw hell…

Ya’ll, mark your calendars. This is the day that Toddy English officially became speechless.

Toddy English.

The Return of Glam (Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, & Beyonce)!

Dear Friends:

It has been a minute since I created a really superhumanly gay post. However, this is my return to form (teeheehee). Anyway, in spite of the controversial Kanye West/Taylor Swift moment I was most intrigued by the fashion on the 2009 Video Music Awards. To make a long story short the stars are beginning to look (and shine) like stars again! Being an 80′s baby myself I can remember eagerly anticipating all the awards show ceremonies. You knew all of the star fashion would be on point! It was never about cookie cutter fashion (everyone wearing something: Channel, Dior, Wang, Valentino, or Versace etc al…Although I totally love those designers). True stars were all about cutting edge self expression! That sorta got lost when grunge/hardcore hip hop took over the 90′s. After that pretty much all of the artists began dressing down in an effort to be “real”. The wonderfully flashy costumes that epitomized the 70′s and 80′s went the way of the dodo bird. However, in the past few years pomp and circumstance has been undergoing a renaissance. Instead of Michaelangelo, Da Vinci, and etc it’s Beyonce, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry that are heralding it!

Beyonce, of course, brought it back en vogue to be larger than life. In my opinion she’s like magic. The hair, legs, gold, glitter, over the top accessories, and pomp epitomize Beyonce. You’ll never see her dressed down honey. Beyonce is ALL about the SHOW! Katy Perry is another one I love as well (and her performance on the VMA’s was UNDERRATED. Her version of We Will Rock Youwas some hot shit!). She’s like a 1920′s pin up, all red lips and frolicking fun fashion (ala a live action Betty Boop). Katy Perry always brings to mind a colorful cornucopia of fruit. I love watching her because of all the pretty colors. Don’t even get me started on Lady Gaga! She’s like a living avant garde art exhibit. If Andy Warhol were alive he would have created Lady Gaga (lol). She leaves NOTHING to chance when it comes to self expression via fashion. Lastly, there is Ms. Rihanna. When she first came onto the scene she was a Beyonce clone. However, Ri Ri altered her sound and  flipped her fashion thus cementing her own identity (ladies, follow RiRi’s example. No one can copy Bey. Don’t even try). Rihanna’s punk/glam retro 80′s style solidifies her as a future fashion icon. She’s like a young black Madonna.  I google Ri-Ri just to see what she’s wearing.

As it is I’m glad to see all of this style returning to the red carpet. It’s hot! Keep it up ladies!