Dear Friends:
Last weekend I rented “Heathers” from the local library. I hadn’t seen the movie in a couple of years so I decided to check it out again, see if it still holds up. Chile, even now Heathers still inspires nothing short of hysterical laughter. Heathers is one of my all time FAVORITES. If you even think for a single a second that Regina George (Rachel McAdams’ character in Mean Girls) is the quintessential high school alpha cat then you had better watch Heathers. Baby, Heather Chandler and Heather Duke would have Regina take out her finger nail file and slit her wrists…
This movie is wonderfully over the top 80′s kitsch. It’s a dark comedy where teenaged suicide, cliques, popularity, and all of that high school madness is exacerbated to the umpteenth degree.
Winona Ryder plays Veronica Sawyer one of the most popular girls in school. Her Frenemies? Well, they are none other than The Heathers (Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, and Heather McNamara)…The Heathers strike fear AND admiration in the hearts of their fellow classmates. Even though they are all bitches to the umpteenth degree every guy wants to date them and every girl wants to be them.
Veronica, growing tired of being an unofficial “Heather” hooks up with the mysterious loner, J.D. (played with Nicholson like smarminess by Christian Slater). J.D. hates the Heathers. So, after Veronica attends a college party with Heather Chandler that goes hilariously array Heather threatens to ruin Veronica’s reputation come Monday morning…
Veronica and JD attempt an intervention which leads to Heather’s untimely demise (lol). Instead of calling the police Veronica and JD make Heather’s death look like a suicide…
That is when the over the top hilarity hits a crescendo!
I love this movie. I cannot reiterate that point enough…
What do I love most? The classic one-liners!
1.) “Well, fuck me gently with a chain saw!” Heather Chandler
2.) “Oh get crucial. Martha Dumptruck’s been dialing suicide hotlines since she was in diapers.” Heather Duke.
3.) “They all want me as a friend or a fuck…I’m worshipped at Westerburg and I’m only a junior.” Heather Chandler…
4.) “It’ll be really very.” Heather McNamara…
5.) “What’s your problem?! Fred says you’re being a real kooze!” Heather Chandler.
6.) “I brought you to a Remington party and what’s my thanks? It’s on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke!” Heather chandler
7.) “Lick it up baby! Lick…It…Up!” Veronica Sawyer.
8.) “So, should I just whip it out?” Ram.
9.) “Y’know what I want babe? Cool guys like you outta my life.” (LOL) Veronica Sawyer.
10.) “She’ll have shower nozzle masturbation material for months…” Heather Chandler.
11.) “Let’s see how the son of a bitch reacts to a suicide he didn’t perform himself.” Veronica Sawyer.
12.) “Grow up Heather. Bulimia is soooooo 87.” Heather Chandler.
13.) “Corn Nuts!” Heather Chandler
14.) “I can’t believe it…I just killed my best friend.” Veronica Sawyer.
15.) “What’s your damage?” All of the Heathers (and Veronica).
16.) “You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie. ” Heather Chandler.
17.) “I can’t believe you actually did it. I loved you. Of course I was comin up here ta kill ya…” (LOL) JD
18.) “You’re a rebel? You actually think you’re a rebel? You’re not a rebel you’re fucking psychotic!” Veronica Sawyer.
Those are just the few that I could think of, haha. Anyway, for a fun night home with a movie please do yourself a favor and rent this 80′s classic. You will love it!
Cheers!
Toddy English
toddyenglish
