Silly Things I believed as a Child…

1.) After I saw the movie Splash I avoided taking baths because I was afraid I’d grow fins (to this day I take showers)…
2.) I thought Darth Vader’s name was really DARK Vader…
3.) Summer showers were really instances of domestic violence (e.g. Satan beating his wife (sadly, adults fed me this one))…
4.) Sirloin steak could be used to kill vampires…
5.) I believed vampires were real…
6.) One of my mother’s friends teased me and said she would bite my cute little nose off. I was always scared of her because I thought she’d actually do it.
7.) I never walked around with one shoe on and one shoe off. Why? My best friend across the street told me that by doing so I would indirectly walk my grandmother to her early grave that way (What the fuck?)
8.) When that baby Jessica McClure fell in an abandoned well shaft I was five-years-old. Naturally, I avoided the front lawn because there just had to be an abandoned well waiting to devour me.
9.) At night I would take a running leap into my bed because I was scared that monsters were waiting to eat my feet.  
10.) If you turned around three times, infront of a mirror, and said her name, Bloody Mary (who was said to be the wife of Satan)would come out and kill you.
11.) I have four siblings. Naturally, I thought my parents only had sex five times.

What are some of your’s?

ToddyEnglish

Toddy’s Movie Picks: Bent

Dear Friends:

Last night I had the opportunity to witness a movie called “Bent.” The story (starring Clive Owen, Ian Mckellen, Brian Webber, and etc) takes place in 1930′s Germany. Right off the top this is not about the Jews. This is the story of homosexual men being subjected to the most heinous and ritualistic tortures.

This movie was so jarring. It left me emotionally spent, repulsed, and thoughtful. Could something like this possibly happen again? I sure as hell hope not. This is why everyone must be vigilant against homophobia and anti-gay ordinances and legislation.

On a side note Mick Jagger gives a wonderful cameo as a female impersonator!

My Favorite Shows hardly anyone’s watching (The Game, The Dollhouse, and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles)

Dear Friends:

I hate television. My favorite shows inevitably get cancelled. Yet they keep stupid shit like: Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Seinfeld (Yeah I said it. Seinfeld is a stupid show) on for years; yet great stuff like Dirty Sexy Money, Alien Nation (back in the early 90′s), and etc get the axe before they even complete a first season!

So, far my current favorites are: The Game, The Dollhouse, and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. The Game has been on for three seasons and is currently fighting for it’s life. This show is great (not to mention my huge crush on Pooch Hall aka Derwin Davis) and has all the trappings of great television (pretty people and plenty of drama, drama, drama!). Anyway, I’ve joined fellow fans in a petition to save the show. Hopefully other fans will follow.

I’d just like to know why the abyssmal Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill (both shows got ratings in the gutter) are up for new seasons and The Game is languishing in ambiguity?! Terminator just completed a second season; however, the new fall line up has yet to be released(maybe with the inevitable success of Terminator Salvation this will guarantee a third season. I hope!).

The Dollhouse is awesome! I’m a huge fan of Eliza Dushku, but I’m praying this isn’t another True Calling (I was all into that one and FOX killed it).

I’m sick of the networks only caring about the money. When a show is great give it a chance you bastards! Seriously, stop killing my favorite shows (I am still pissed about Reunion being cancelled. Atleast tell me WHO killed Samantha). The only one I can depend on sticking around is Oprah.

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish.

Obligatory Cuteness Day…

Dear Friends:

Okay, so it isn’t a gorgeous guy (at the moment). However, how can you NOT love cute bunny rabbits? These pictures are seriously making me consider adopting a bunny. Too cute! No wonder they breed like rabbits. They are so cute they can’t possibly resist one another!

This Summer the Machines Are Taking Over (Transformers 2 & Terminator Salvation)

Dear Friends:

I am such a geek right now. Whenever I see these trailers for Terminator Salvation and Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen I get all tingly. Get into these trailers and interviews.

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish

The Gaythering Storm

         

Dear Friends:

This is a parody of the bigoted “Gathering Storm” commercial. It is hilarious.

Cheers!

ToddyEnglish

Scrawny People Are Bunnies: No wonder I hate loud noises (New Scientific Study)

 

Sounds Scare Scrawny People More Easily

Clara Moskowitz
LiveScience Staff Writer
Tue Apr 28, 11:56 am ET

Scrawny people tend to think approaching sounds are closer than do strong people, a new study found.

Scientists think this inclination might have evolved to help the weak escape from approaching danger. Back when humans were prey for large mammals, the less physically fit may have benefited from earlier warnings of incoming threats. Even now, it’s probably helpful for the wimps among us to have a greater safety margin if, say, a piano is about to fall on their head.

Evolutionary psychologist John Neuhoff and colleagues at the College of Wooster in Ohio asked 50 people to listen to an approaching tone, and press a button when they thought the sound had arrived directly in front of them. The researchers found that almost everyone – about 98 percent of people – pressed the button somewhat early, even after going through 10 practice runs where the scientists told subjects when they were pressing too soon. The average lead time was 130 milliseconds, but some subjects jumped the gun by about 500 milliseconds, or half a second.

The psychologists also rated everyone on a physical fitness scale, based on recovering heart rate after exercise and grip strength. Strikingly, they found scrawny people consistently judged the tone to be right before them sooner than buff people did.

The work was inspired by Neuhoff’s earlier research that showed the approaching sound bias is greater in women than in men. The researchers speculated that this effect might be caused by the different average strength levels of men and women, and decided to test the hypothesis. The new study lends support to this theory.

In trials people did not misjudge sounds that were moving away from them – only approaching sounds. This adds reinforcement to the theory that this behavior evolved as a buffer to keep people safe from approaching danger. Although we sacrifice accuracy in judging sounds’ distances, we gain advance notice of danger. For prey species like humans, this seems to be a worthy tradeoff.

“The cost of responding early is not very great at all, whereas the cost of responding late can be fatal,” Neuhoff told LiveScience.

In earlier research, Neuhoff and team found a similar bias toward approaching sounds versus receding sounds in Rhesus monkeys. They have not yet tested many other species, but are curious to see if the effect changes with predator animals, especially those that rely on accurate sound judgments to capture prey, such as bats.

“Our prediction is that if you’re more likely to be a predator, you wouldn’t have the need for as great a bias, but if you’re a bunny you need a larger margin of safety,” Neuhoff said.

Neuhoff presented his findings May 21 at the 157th Acoustical Society of America Meeting in Portland, Oregon.

 

Hmmmmm,

Maybe if I grew several inches and gained 30 pounds I’d stop having adverse reactions to really loud voices and stereo-systems? Seriously, I hate loud noise with a passion. That’s why I refuse to get a dog. I’m glad there’s a scientifically sound explanation now.

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish.

Noah’s Arc (Jumping The Broom): Noah Is Me!

Dear Friends:

Over the weekend I saw the final installment of The Noah’s Arc series, Jumping The Broom (purchased off Amazon.com). Long story short the plot centered around Noah and Wade’s impending nuptials and great gay drama.

I’m a huge fan of the show. I’ve been buying the DVD sets since the first season. It ended after the second season (on a cliffhanger no less) before it was abruptly cancelled by LOGO (the station treated the show like the bastard red headed stepchild from South Carolina during it’s entire run…Forget the fact that NA gave LOGO it’s highest ratings). Fortunately, the option for a feature length film was picked up. Therefore the story got the conclusion that it so richly deserved.

Personally, I loved it (contrary to some critical thrashings online)! Granted, some of the acting was a little amateurish; and there were several PSA moments (that looked like PSA’s due to some less than stellar acting). Furthermore, a few plot points were rushed and over the top (e.g. Wade’s homophobic family finding out he’s gay and marrying another man, over the phone, and still attend the wedding). However, overall, it was a very sweet romantic comedy that had it’s heart in the right place, in my opinion (okay, I cried a little at the end. I don’t know about you).

Surprisingly, this was the first time I completely identified with Noah’s character. As a matter of fact Noah is me (not literally).  I often fancied myself as a Carrie from Sex And The City type of guy; but, after seeing Jumping the Broom (and watching the previous seasons in succession) I came to realize that Noah was infact my on air counter part.

Now I would NEVER dress like him (although his style became a bit more subdued in season two and Jumping The Broom) but that’s besides the point. Noah is such a wonderful, sweet, and gentle soul who truly embraced his romantic idealism. He was the calm center in the midst of all those brazen personalities that he called his friends. More importantly he never stopped believing in love and all of it’s infinite possibility. Noah shared my same hopes, dreams, and aspirations. He merely wanted to be a happy, healthy, and productive individual by simply being himself.

For me that aspect of the series was so affirming…I cheered for Noah because, for the first time, I saw myself–a young black gay man–reflected on television. Again, his life is not quite similiar to my own but close enough to draw parrallels. Finally, FINALLY, someone (Patrick Ian Polk) reflected my reality outside the sensationalism of the Down Low (although Noah’s Arc could be myopic at times at least it tried to show black gay life in a positive manner)!

Anywho, it was kind of sad knowing that was the end of the show. But it will always live on in Syndication.

Jumping The Broom was great.

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish.

If You Had To Choose…

Dear Friends:

If you had to choose (masturbation and suicide are off the table as options) between these two characters…

Lil Wayne

or

Flavor Flav

Who would you do?

Okay, on second thought, this is just plain cruel.

You don’t have to pick. I just couldn’t believe that two people could be this jacked up…

Teeheehee.

This is my first and only Hideous Guy Spotlight!

Cheers!

ToddyEnglish.

Obsessed Tops The Weekend Box Office

By MICHAEL CIEPLY; Compiled by STEVEN McELROY

Published: April 26, 2009

Hollywood wrapped up what is usually an off-season at the box office with another strong weekend, as “Obsessed,” a thriller from Sony Pictures’ Screen Gems division, took in $28.5 million to place No. 1, according to an estimate from Sony. The film stars Ali Larter (above left) as an office temp with an unhealthy fixation on an investment banker (Idris Elba, above right), whose wife is played by Beyoncé Knowles. The Top 10 films recorded about $101 million in ticket sales, up about 33 percent from the same period last year, according to the Screenline reporting service. In second place was “17 Again,” from Warner Brothers and its New Line Cinema unit. That movie, starring Zac Efron as an adult who is transformed back into a teenager, made about $11.7 million, a drop of about 50 percent from last weekend, when it was No. 1, according to Warner Brothers. “Fighting,” from Rogue Pictures, was third with about $11.4 million; “The Soloist” from DreamWorks and Paramount was fourth, with about $9.7 million; and “Earth,” the first release from the Walt Disney Company’s Disneynature unit, was fifth, with about $8.6 million. The season’s strong performance by relatively low-budget comedies, thrillers and horror films has raised hope of a continued boom when the blockbuster season begins Friday with the release of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” from 20th Century Fox.