The Stigmatization of Fem Gay males (by other Gay Males)

       

           

Dear Friends:

I happened upon this youtube video, featuring Bobby Blake, on a random message board. For anyone who may not know who Bobby Blake is he’s a sadistic ex-porn star turned minister (::Toddy errupts into uproarious laughter:: Oh, sorry about that).

Anyway, Bobby Blake–in this video– lamented (I just love the word “Lament” and “Lamentations”) about the tragic state of young black gay men because…

(1) We don’t “respect ourselves”…

And…

(2) We refuse to “educate ourselves” in order to garner respect from society…

Bobby went onto further that, at onetime, men (e.g. gay men) were “men.” It didn’t matter what was done in the bedroom. All that mattered was that they were “respected.” He also said that no gay man should get upset if he’s called a “faggot” in the street. According to Mr. Blake it’s because he isn’t “respectable” enough (Loose translation: He isn’t masculine or acting “straight” enough).

Alright, I really don’t know where to begin so I’ll begin from the beginning…

First of all I’d like to know who appointed Bobby Blake as the moral authority on the state of black gay affairs? This is a man who made his career doing what any mangy dog can do…Have sex in public (before an audience no less). Moreover, he’s screwed (and brutalized) practically every single ugly Queen in the adult film industry. So, who is he to give ANYONE instructions about self respect? 

The only reason I would automatically “respect” Bobby Blake is because he’s ugly and could, more than likely, totally beat my ass. That sir is not respect. That is fear. If you have to use fear and intimidation to engender “respect” then you aren’t respectable at all. I am completely incapable of striking fear into the hearts of others (at a glance); however, I’m a very respectable person.

Once again the video was just more stigmatization of effeminacy in gay male culture. And the fact that it’s Bobby Blake delivering the castigation repulses me. This is a man who bragged–in his book–that he banged a fellow “actor” so hard that the guy in question had to be hospitalized. Gee, I wonder what is respectable about being an animalistic rapist?

Alas, I digress…

Back to the point at hand…

I’m just wondering when this vilification of all things feminine going to cease and desist? Granted, I know that some hyper queeny guys are just putting on a show. However, effeminacy, I believe, is natural(and intrinsic) to many gay men, including Bobby Blake’s ugly self. I don’t know many heterosexual men who exhibit any of the so called “Marlboro Man” traits, let alone gays.

If you are a respectable person and respect other people you will engender respect regardless of your outward appearance (or whatever facade you choose to encompass). It is all about your energy. If you give off positive people will react positively.

Bobby Blake can bite it, for real.

What he should do is hire a speech therapist to knock out that lisp.

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish.

Toddy’s Movie Picks: Slumdog Millionaire

Dear Friends:

Slumdog Millionaire is a winner!

Initially, I never got the hype about it. At first I thought it would be either…

1.) A pretentious hypefest (e.g. made with the sole intention of winning an Oscar)…

or

2.) A really bad Bollywood import…

However, I was wrong on BOTH counts (thankfully so)! I loved every single moment of Slumdog. Granted, I won’t be purchasing a DVD copy (seeing as it wouldn’t be something that I’d watch over and over again), but it’s still a movie I absolutely adore (hell, maybe I will buy a copy)…

Slumdog Millionaire, as the name entails, takes place in Mumbai, India. Our Hero, Jamal (Dev Patel), is a contestant on a popular Who Wants To Be A Millionaire styled game show. Jamal answers all of the questions correctly and wins 20 million Rupees (a shitload of cash in India). No one can believe it seeing as he’s a “slumdog” from Mumbai. He’s accused of cheating and subsequently tortured (at the request of the show’s producers no less). Here we learn the story of a Slumdog’s rise to the top.

Slumdog Millionaire is the first time I’ve cheered for a cinematic hero since Luke Skywalker blew up the death star. And, oh my god, the love story between Jamal and Latika made me a little bit misty. I so want my own Jamal. I have the biggest crush on Dev Patel because of this…(lol).

Netflix Slumdog Millionaire and enjoy!

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish

Another Hilarious Gif…

Dear Friends:

I love finding these things…Enjoy(lol).

Is Gay Life Still Fabulous?

Dear Friends:

I have a question…

Me and some friends were discussing this over the phone last night. Is the gay world still as FABU as it used to be? Granted, we know that queers still know how to party, dress (well not all but most), and just be festive. However, some people believe that the internet (with its promise of anonymous/discreet sexual interludes) and the prevelance of the “DL” phenomenon has taken away from the overall glamour of what it used to mean to be gay?

So, are gays becoming as boring and normal as their straight counterparts? Or is it merely the lament of old queens for days long gone?

Hmmmmm…

ToddyEnglish.

Veganism: Plant Murder?

Dear Friends:

I just had a thought. Is Vegan/Vegetarianism advocating the demise of plants?

Granted, I myself am now a vegetarian; however, I…

A.) still eat poultry (Sorry, I just don’t have the dedication to be a specialized veggie)…

B.) Do it for the health benefits…

C.) Just don’t like red meat and pork. It feels like gunk on my insides.

D.) I am not a food connoisseur.

So, I’m not doing this because I love animals or anything of the sort. It’s just a lifestyle choice.

I was recently involved in a conversation with some fellow animal lovers. One of them blatantly said, and I quote, “You can’t possibly love animals and eat meat.” He later equated partaking in animal flesh as murder.

Okay, DJ stop playing that song for a minute…

Uhm, first of all eating for survival is not murder. Animals eat other animals in the wild. There is no way in hell a lion is going to agree to a vegan diet. He gets hungry. His wife (or wives) goes out and kills something. They live happily for the next week.

I agree that rednecks who go hunting for sport are murderers. But going to the grocery store and buying hamburger meat for your family does not make you a cold blooded killer.

Death is a hard and bitter pill to swallow. However, in order for somethings to live somethings have to die. Sad but true. Yes, the eggs I eat in the morning could have been little chicks. But I need them to have proper nutrition.

Anyway, if we are being technical…Veganism is murder too. Plants are living things that have the capacity to feel as well. Herbivores maybe sweet and non violent…But that is only because their prey can’t fight back. So, why are plant based diets more socially acceptable amongst many animal rights activists? Is it because they don’t have big eyes or meow (or bark)?

A lion is no more a murderer than a lamb.

What do you think?

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish

I’m An Amazon Merchant!

Dear Friends:

Yesterday, I made two hundred bucks. All I did was put my college books up for sale on Amazon.com and made two hundred dollars! Yeah, it ain’t much but it gave some much needed life to my withering bank account! Ooh chile, now I’m going to be sellin shit left and right, y’hear me? (lol).

Forreal, if you are getting pinched in the economy sell some stuff that you are not using. Free up some space and fatten your wallet!

With Love…

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish

P.S.

I love the HELL out of Amazon.com. I sell stuff. I buy stuff. I even talk on message boards. The best website as far as I’m concerned!

I’m Not A Food Person (Why I could probably never date a Chef or a fat guy)

Dear Friends:

Today is my first official day as a vegetarian. Yep, I’m taking the plunge. I know I’ll be ridiculed by all of you obligate carnivores out there, yet I’m confident in my choice to attempt a plant based diet.

I’ve been contemplating it for years. And I’ve been healthily planning it for the last two weeks (reading websites and etc). A few hours ago I went to the store and followed my reconfigured shopping list down to the letter. This was the first time I’ve ever gone to the store and not thrown random shit into the basket.

Granted, I’m not going to be a strict veggie. I love yogurt, ice cream, and eggs too much. Therefore, I’ll still be including those in my diet. However, there will be no: red meat, pork, or poultry. Those have been replaced by dietary supplements I bought (but I take vitamins anyway…whatever)Yeah, I am going to miss the hell out of the occasional Popeyes chicken basket; but, I rarely–if ever–eat fast food. See, this will be a slice of pie (or a piece of cake if you will).

I’m confident that the transition is going to be a smooth one.  My mother raised me a flexatarian (a semi vegetarian) for the most part. Moreover, I’ve never really liked to eat all that much.

Now don’t get it twisted. I’m not a manorexic. My appetite is healthy. Keyword: healthy. See, I’m not a connieseur of food like many (not that there is anything wrong with that). I don’t plan meals with the sole intent of savoring every delightful morsel. Nor do I eat for comfort. Hell, I don’t even eat for the enjoyment of the whole affair. 

Now I do LOVE grapes and watermelon. I will tear some fruit the hell up! But there are no favorite gourmet dishes on my resume (okay, maybe one of those big cornucopias of fruit). I constantly waste money at all you can eat buffets because I’ll have one small plate and leave. I look forward to the holidays for vacation time, not eating. Even when I go to restaurants I get the smallest thing on the menu. I just have no desire to eat for fun and recreation (little snacks and finger foods are the business though).

Basically, I eat because If I don’t I’ll…Y’know…die or something like that…

Therefore, becoming a healthy vegetarian shouldn’t be difficult. Food is fuel. My body is a vehicle. I just need the energy to keep it running. I love other things in life.

Which made me think…I don’t think I could date a fat guy or a chef. All I would be doing is sitting there watching him eat and cook. Then he might get pissed because I don’t want to eat all of his food. Really, it’s not him it’s me.

Cheers!

With Love…

Sincerely,

ToddyEnglish.

Gorgeous Guy Spotlight: Eddie Cibrian

Dear Friends:

I couldn’t have this list without representing Eddie Cibrian! Oh my goodness talk about a Greek god! Chile, I don’t know much about his filmography; however, fineness will always manifest itself on this here blog. Gawjus Dahling Gaaawjuuuus! I love his hiney too, teeheehee.

Here’s a scene from “But I’m A Cheerleader.” Baaaaaby, if you don’t know how fine Mr. Cibrian is from the pics then recognize with the video footage, mmmmhmmmph!

The Most Hilarious Gif I’ve Ever Seen (lol)

Dear Friends:

I’m going to use this face whenever I feel like throwin some serious non verbal shade (lol).

Aaliyah Galore (Videos)!

Dear Friends:

So, I was watching youtube today and I wound up watching all of my girl Aaliyah’s videos. Look, I love: Beyonce, Rihanna, Christina, Mariah, Fantasia, Jennifer (hudson), Diana, Madonna, Janet, and all those other divas; but NONE of them will ever come close to Aaliyah for me! I will forever and always be a fan! I dare you not to get into these videos. A couple are live performances as well.

Love it baby. Aaliyah is the shit!