Today I rode the bus. I have a loaded bus pass that I got during my tenure as an assistant teacher a year ago. So I figured, “Nice day out…I’ll ride downtown to the park.”
Well, I get on the bus and there’s a lady sitting in front of me. Normal enough, right? Wrong. I’m up there minding my business when I happen to innocently glance toward the floor. My initial reaction was to say, “What tha fuck?!” Instead I just did a double double take.
The woman infront of me had the most hideous feet I have ever seen…I am not kidding.
Aight, first of all this heffa had on sandals in November. Tell me why I don’t know. ::Toddy Shrugs:: I know it doesn’t get that cold down here but it was around 60 degrees when I went out today.
Be that as it may…
There were the two ugliest feet in the history of the known universe. At first I thought she must have been half goat because they bordered on being hooves. Ya’ll, this woman had: callouses, bunions, corns, funyuns, onions, fungus, and heaven knows what else. There was so much going on I could have made a salad out of her feet.
I’m just sitting there enthralled. The things were encrusted with smegma (my own made up word). Her soles were so white that it looked as if she had been tap dancing for Jesus inside a huge bag of flour. And her nails were crusty and yellow. her feet looked like a science experiment gone awry. I don’t know if she was homeless or what but still…No Ma’am…No Ma’am!
Anyway, I kicked myself for not having a damn camera phone on me. Them feets was the stuff of legendary nightmares.
People, if you have ugly ass feet please wear close toed shoes and socks. The public should not be subjected to that. I would like to have this passed as law. We need an act of congress…Proposition 9: ugly ass feet are not to be revealed…no matter your: race, color, gender, or orientation.