Dear Friends:
Today I rode the bus. I have a loaded bus pass that I got during my tenure as an assistant teacher a year ago. So I figured, “Nice day out…I’ll ride downtown to the park.”
Well, I get on the bus and there’s a lady sitting in front of me. Normal enough, right? Wrong. I’m up there minding my business when I happen to innocently glance toward the floor. My initial reaction was to say, “What tha fuck?!” Instead I just did a double double take.
The woman infront of me had the most hideous feet I have ever seen…I am not kidding.
Aight, first of all this heffa had on sandals in November. Tell me why I don’t know. ::Toddy Shrugs:: I know it doesn’t get that cold down here but it was around 60 degrees when I went out today.
Be that as it may…
There were the two ugliest feet in the history of the known universe. At first I thought she must have been half goat because they bordered on being hooves. Ya’ll, this woman had: callouses, bunions, corns, funyuns, onions, fungus, and heaven knows what else. There was so much going on I could have made a salad out of her feet.
I’m just sitting there enthralled. The things were encrusted with smegma (my own made up word). Her soles were so white that it looked as if she had been tap dancing for Jesus inside a huge bag of flour. And her nails were crusty and yellow. her feet looked like a science experiment gone awry. I don’t know if she was homeless or what but still…No Ma’am…No Ma’am!
Anyway, I kicked myself for not having a damn camera phone on me. Them feets was the stuff of legendary nightmares.
People, if you have ugly ass feet please wear close toed shoes and socks. The public should not be subjected to that. 
I would like to have this passed as law. We need an act of congress…Proposition 9: ugly ass feet are not to be revealed…no matter your: race, color, gender, or orientation.
Sincerely,
Toddy English.
toddyenglish
Oh. Dear. It looks like her feet are full of fungus and probably requires medical treatment that she can’t afford – because of the way our medical system is set up. Shoes probably hurt her feet since her toenails and her skin look like they are rotting off. I wanted to laugh but now I feel really bad for her. I know someone with one tiny fungus toenail and she said she had to take pills for a long time – but didn’t finish the treatment because she couldn’t afford it.
*weeps for the woman who will probably have scary rotten feet in sandals – even when its cold* *faints*, *gets up to watch television*
Comment by steadycat — November 17, 2008 @ 3:05 am |
While I am not a feet person, I do think the human foot has gotten overlooked to the degree that stuff like this can actually be a reality, heck, a norm in some places. All it takes is some TLC people! Just some TLC.
Comment by J. Clarence — November 17, 2008 @ 4:54 am |
Damn. She really needs to soak those feet in warm water and vinegar (to kill whatever fungus is growing on them). Then she needs a really good scrub. What’s up with those nails.
Ick.
Comment by houstonmacbro — November 17, 2008 @ 10:42 am |
I like nice feet too- and it seems the ones with the worst feet don’t want to cover them up. But yeah, if they are as bad as that photo than shoes are probably extremely uncomfortable.
Comment by Billy — November 17, 2008 @ 6:43 pm |
Smegma is a real word … or were you just kidding? Anyhow, that’s one thing I don’t miss about Houston: crazy bus people. funyuns? lol
Comment by Alex — November 18, 2008 @ 5:32 am |
LOL – that’s funny…but ya know what? 60 degrees is time for wearing sandals – especially in Chicago!
Comment by Darius T. Williams — November 18, 2008 @ 12:51 pm |