PSYCHO: They ain't just Norman Bates!
All right, remember the guy I told you about a week ago? Well, he was DEFINITELY too good to be true! In fact, he seemed like a sociopath. Moreover, dude seemed as though he had Ike Turner potential! So, please believe I cut that brotha all the way BACK! Chile, he did a COMPLETE 180 after I started talking to him, believe that!
So check it…
Jack and me, for the first three days, talked to each other–at the sametime each night–regularly.
Okay, I always tend to go with my gut when something seems suspicious. There was something “odd” about Jack that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. At first I thought it was me being overly sensitive about certain traits and idiosyncrasies that are intrinsic to every person’s personality. But I still couldn’t shake something being “odd” about him.
I’ll just let what occurred speak for itself…
All right, the first time I met Jack was on a dating website. Well, as I said before, Jack hit me up first.
Jack: Hey man how r u?
Me: I’m good how are you?
Jack: Same. Hey I like your profile…
Me: Thanks, I like yours too.
Jack: Hey, I just moved here a few months ago…Here’s my telephone number (insert digits here).
Me: Thanks. Oh, just so we are clear, I’m not looking to just hook up or anything. That is not what I’m about. But if you want to get to know each other better then that’s whassup…
Jack: lol Your choice my brutha. I can get a hook up anywhere…Just wanna know u.
Me: lol, okay just making certain that’s straight. Okay, when is a good time to call you?
Jack: Anytime after seven is cool…
::End of exchange::
All right, after seven o’clock that night I called him up…
Me: Hello, may I speak to Jack?
Jack: Hi, this is Jack…
Me: Oh hey whassup this is Toddy.
Jack: ::smirk:: Hey how are?
Me: Good, how are you?
Jack: Hey, can I call you back. I’m out somewhere right now (so that was obviously his cell phone)
A few minutes later Jack calls me back. Alright, we chit chat for a few minutes, making all kinds of small talk, and things of that nature. The entire time we’re talking he’s giving me nothing but one word answers. I’m a chatty person; however, the easiest way to bore the hell out of me is if I have to goad you into a conversation…So, I asked him about what he did for a living. Simple enough question right?
Jack: I’m not going to tell you. I don’t know you like that…
::Red flag:: Yet, I didn’t heed it…
Me: Why not? I told you what I was doing..
Jack: :chuckles: Well, I work for law enforcement and that’s all I’ll say. You’re OUT so I know you’ll probably come up to my work place, in a dress and a high heels, and try and out me too.
Me: ::puzzled look:: ::laughs::
At first I thought he was joking. So I didn’t want to take it too personally. I just shrugged it off…
Me: Look playboy, I don’t wear any dresses; plus it is not that crucial. I just don’t feel the need to be closeted about myself. If someone knows they just know. Whether they like it or not is on them…
Jack: I bet you one of those that goes to ALL the gay pride parades and the clubs…I’ll bet everything you do is gay. ::laughs::
Me: :Not taking offense because atleast he’s actually talking: Yes, I do go to different gay events and functions; however, that is not ALL I do with my life…How about you? What do you do?
Jack: Well, I don’t feel the need to let anyone know my sexuality. Only close friends know and that’s it.
::red flag, and a violation of one of my criteria::
Me: Well that’s cool…
Me: So, why did you hit up my profile?
Jack: Well, your’s wasn’t the only one I looked at–
Me: I didn’t ask you that…I asked why did you hit mine up?
Jack: Well, you had the sweetest prettiest smile I had ever seen…And you look like a little baby doll too.
Me: ::smile and laugh:: Aaawwww, thank you…Well, I thought you were handsome too even though I could only see one side of your face! ::laugh::
Jack:: Yeah, I holla’d at you then you started trippin about how you wasn’t into hook ups…
Me: :laugh:: Just lettin you know I wasn’t somekind of ho or nothin…
Jack: Yeah right, you know yo lil ass a ho…::laughs::
Okay, that kind of put me off for a minute…Then he laughed, so I thought, “Okay, if I blast him I might be overreacting.” So, I firmly told him that it has to be a comfortable situation for me to just sleep with someone…And he keeps on laughing and saying that I’m probably a lil ho. That is when he suggests I come over to his house, that night. He gave me his address and everything…So I told him, “Look, I am not coming to your house. I don’t even know you.”
Jack: Alright, cool then. Hey, I gotta take a shower. So I’ll talk to you later, cool?
I hung up and went back to reading my book. At first I thought that would be the last I heard of him. It just sounded like he was some clown that skipped all of my profile information (i.e. not looking for hook ups).
Suddenly, an hour later, the phone rang…
Jack: I just called back to say Good Night…
::Swish:: ::Three points:: That was so ridiculously sweet!
Me: You are too sweet! Good night to you too…
Jack: I’m not sweet I’m sour…::laugh::
Me: No, you are a sweetie. Alright, holla at me.
Needless to say I went to bed happy. If he was willing to do that he had potential…I figure I would get to know him better and, maybe, he just had a really obtuse sense of humor. Lots of people do, right?
So, for the rest of that weekend he and I talked regularly and everything was cool. At first I thought, “Hmmmm, he MIGHT be a keeper!”
How quickly THAT changed…
Aight, allow me to preface this by stating that I’m the only person in the known universe still using a dial up Internet connection. Look, it is cheap and, presently, I don’t feel like getting in deep with AT&T…Needless to say, due to the fact that I am still using dial up, I often allow my PC to run continuously. That way I never have to worry about logging on again, via that godawful dial up tone. I gave Jack both of my phone numbers (the cell and land line). Well, oneday I was out at the gym and did some grocery shopping. I left my Internet on the whole time…So, that night Jack calls me up. For the record I called him around eight that evening, but he did not answer his phone. Alright, when he called me–after midnight–he sounded like he was goin off of some Patron (Drunk). I had just gotten into the bed.
Jack: Hey how you doin….just got in from a party
Me: Oh how was it? You have fun?
Jack: Yeah, what the fuck you think people do at a party? ::laughs::
Me: ::eye blink:: Uhm, excuse me?
Jack: Hey my homosexual friend, I been callin yo ass all day and the line was busy!
Me: ::groggily:: Oh, I forgot to turn my INTERNET off–
Jack: Naw yo funky ass was probably trickin fo some otha niggas, that’s what you was doin! ::laughing::
Me: ::Blinking my eyes not believing I was hearing what I was hearing:: Uhm, excuse me???
Jack: Why you wasn’t answering my phone calls???
Me:: Uhm, because I was out all day–
Jack: Liar! You know you lying!
Me: I am not lying to you I was out–
Jack: Liar! Liar! Liar ::laughing hysterically:: Yo ass tryna play that role like you got some morals, with yo ho ass…You was probably at the gym suckin dick!
Me: ::Wide awake and pissed:: Look, you sound like you DRUNK so I’m gettin off this phone and I’ll talk to you tomorrow…Because I am ABOUT to cuss you out if you call me out of my name ONE more time.
Jack: Yeah what tha fuck ever, just answer the phone when I call yo funky ass! Look Imma about to pull into Denny’s and get somethin to eat. Talk to you later homosexual!
Okay, it was the middle of the night–I had to go to work the next day–and I was pissed. My first instinct was to call his @$$ back and put him on blast. However, I kept thinking, “Maybe he was just joking?” But I thought about it and said, “I don’t care if he was joking. That offended the hell out of me.”
So, the next day I E-mailed him and said, “Look, I like you. I really do. However, don’t you EVER for the rest of your life call me, in the middle of the night, talking to me like you are crazy. I mean it. That was really infuriating and I do not appreciate you disrespecting me in that manner!”
So, I was expecting an e-mail reply from him. Chile, he blocked my e-mail address. He was PISSED. So I called him up. He told me he was busy. So I hung up and did somethings around the house. He called me back an hour later. Like I said before…ole boy was PISSED.
Me: So, you still mad at me?
Jack: ::sarcastic laugh:: My brutha I’m not mad about nothing.
Me: Well, do you want to talk about what happened and why I wrote you the e-mail?
Jack: There is nothing to talk about…::huffing and puffing. The smoke is coming out of his ears::
Me: Well, I just wanted you to know that I do like you. However, I was not even tryna appreciate the way you came at me the other night.
Jack: No response…
Me: ::trying to force a conversation, but to no avail:: Okay, it is quite obvious that you don’t want to talk to me right now so–
Jack: okay, bye.
Alright, at that point I don’t know how I’m feelin. For whatever reason I was attracted to him…Yet, in that moment, he was started to repulse me. So, I figured MAYBE we could open some kind of dialogue if one of us were to acquiesce in this situation. So, me, I like to communicate and get along. With that I called his phone and apologized for him being mad (note: I refused to apologize for defending myself). Then he called me back. He was ranting and raving about me being “Too sensitive” and “On my period” and shit like that. So I asked him, “So you don’t feel that you were in the wrong about anything? What you did was incredibly offensive.”
Jack: Well, we don’t have to deal with each other if that is how you feel! You need to learn to take a fuckin joke!
Me: Uhm, I can take a joke. I just don’t appreciate you calling me out my name like that…especially when you barely even know me.
Jack: Well, when I like someone I want to be in contact with them ALL the time…
Me: Well, I apologize for having a life outside of you, Jack! What am I supposed to do just drop everything just so you won’t think I’m playin you–
Jack: You can’t play me. You couldn’t if you tried!
Me: Uhm, that is not the point of this discussion…I told you that I use dial up and SOMETIMES I leave it on continuously. You can dial my cellular–
Jack: Alright, how about this. Why don’t you come out to my house tonight…We can watch a movie.
Me: Thanks but no thanks. How about we meet somewhere…what about the galleria, since that is in the area between us?
Jack: Naw, the Galleria is too congested. We can make plans some other time…
Meanwhile I’m getting more and more disturbed. While I’m trying to rationalize his behavior my body is telling me something completely different. The thought of him made me almost ill, literally. So, the next day me and my best friend caught a movie. I had a lot of fun, and the whole issue of Jack became irrelevant. Later that night my good friend called me up, along with some other cats I talk to, and we chatted for a couple hours. Had fun doing that too. Suddenly my cell phone starts blowing up…
Jack: let me guess you’re online…
Me: No, I’m actually on the phone talking to some friends. Mind if I call you back?
So, after I’m done talking to my friends I RELUCTANTLY called Jack back. At this point I pretty much know this is finished. Jack is a sociopathic, egomaniacal, tyrant who only wants to assert his dominance over people…Not to mention that his behavior is abusive. That fool had more red flags than a golf course. In fact, he reminded me a lot of my older brothers…That is NOT a compliment, at all.
So I called him up…
Me: ::bright and cheerily:: Hey how you doin?
Jack: I’m good just hangin…
Me: That’s good. How was church today? Did you catch the holy ghost?
Jack: Yeah, it was good…
Me: Okay, this silence is too awkward…Why don’t you ask me something for a change.
Jack: I know everything I need to know about you.
Me: How is that considering all of our conversations consist of me doing all the talking?
Jack: I’m just scared to say anything because I might “offend” you ::sounding really sarcastic::
Me: Trust me, you do not offend me in the least…
Jack: Well, I should have known this wouldn’t work between us…We are “unequally yoked.” You don’t go to church and I do…You don’t like sports and I do…
Me: Uhm, if you wanted a carbon copy of yourself then take a DNA sample and get cloned ::serious as a heart attack::
And then Jack goes on this psychotic bourgeoisie tear about how I am not good enough for him and whatever…Then he said, and I quote, “You cute and fuckable, but that is all you’re good for.”
Now, WHY did he have to say that? He OBVIOUSLY don’t know me…So, I let him have it.
Me: Oh, No WONDER you are single and DESTINED to die ALONE. You are an arrogant, pompous, egomaniacal, ignorant, retarded, and deranged son of a bitch. You have no empathy or compassion for anyone else. And, more than likely, you are a complete and utter failure in your career and personal life, which is why youy have to try and manipulate and controll others. You are a punkass coward and a bully. And the time I wasted with your stupid ass I could have been watching my toe nails grow. I don’t give a damn about the material possessions that you SAY you have. I just wanted to get to know you as a person. And what I now know is that you are a lonely, pathetic, irrelevant, sad, sack of shit! Negro, you don’t impress me a little BIT! Why not make the world a better place and play hop scotch in rush hour traffic?
Jack: Hmmph :CLICK:
Honestly, I am surprised he stayed on the phone to hear it all. Then again I talk really fast.
And that is the end of Mr. Jack, forever! Alright, hindsight is definitely 20/20. This fool was very emotional abusive, controlling, and conflicted…I also have a feeling that he was probably married (because the voice on his voice mail was distorted. The negro talks like he got marbles in his mouth). The only time he was halfway nice to me is when he thought we were going to get down. He would not tell me where he worked nor would he give me his home phone number.
Mind you, I said on my profile that I was not looking for hook ups. I was looking for someone to date and be friends with. I was 100% the entire time. He only gave me 45%
Honestly, I am so glad I did not get into it with him. He is a psycho. Ya’ll might have seen my ass on the back of a milk carton or somethin (then again, I do carry mace). He is definitely one of those DL tragedies WAITING to happen. I feel sorry for the next one unfortunate enough to cross his path. Jack is wack like crack, forreal…
The moral of this story friends is: ALWAYS listen to what your gut tells you! If you are in ANY situation and you just get a bad feeling heed it! Now, this ain’t no shit I learned on Oprah Winfrey either…I’ve experienced it. Always be perceptive and look for the signs. Don’t let anyone tell you, “Oh you’re being too sensitive.” If something makes you feel bad you feel bad for a reason. Our bodies do not lie…When you see the warning signs of a potential abuser RUN. He is telling you that he’s no damn good. I dealt with ole boy for a grand total of five days and he made me sick. I don’t see how people stay in relationships like that for years and years…To anyone in a verbally abusive situation find your own power and get out. You deserve so much more.
On that note screw this online dating! Man, this is sho nuff for the birds. What I am going to do is keep on doing what I do. Mr. Right is going to come along. Right now I’m working on the main course (me). My desert (my man) will be there when I’m ready. When he does my heart will be wide open and ready to receive his love. Till then, I am just happy being single! Dealing with an asshole for four days helped me appreciate my happy single life a HELLUVA lot more!