I Love Bad ass bitches!
And I truly mean that in the most complimentary way possible (No misogynistic undertone going on over here, I assure you).
The other day my mother and I were having an interesting discussion. We sat down and discussed the little tell-tell signs she saw, while I was growing up, that let her know I was “different”(translation: GAY). One particular conversation I remembered having with her, when I was around nine or ten years old, was about Terminator two. She took me to see it and after it was over I said to her, “When I grow up I want to meet a girl like Sarah Connor!”She gave me a sidelong glance and said, “Toddy, I am starting to wonder about you…” Mama always the first to know, ain’t she?
Man, I don’t know what it is but I love–and I do mean L-O-V-E–strong women that can kick ass, be it physically or psychologically! Trust me, I’m gay. In fact I am superhero gay. However, I have a fascination with women that I can’t quite explain. Allow me to reiterate, I love seeing beautiful women kick ass (lol). Growing up, while all of the other young cats were venerating the hip hop stars and AHNULDS as icons, I secretly urged the ladies onto victory on film and television.
As a matter of fact I would purposefully seek out movies where I could see women kick ass and take names. You think I saw The 5th Element because of Bruce Willis? Oh hell no I wanted to see Milla Jovovich kick alien ass. That is the same reason I have an advanced ticket to go see Angelina Jolie shoot guns in “WANTED!” There is something about a woman kicking ass that gets my adrenaline going.
Challenge of The Lady Ninja
The first film I ever saw with women as action heroines was, “Challenge of The Lady Ninja,” an old Chinese film (complete with high wire special effects and etc). Challenge of The Lady Ninja was the tale of a young woman whose father is murdered by a gang of thugs. She goes onto study the art of ninjitsu so that she exact revenge, BLOODY revenge, on those that betrayed her father. The movie was classic cheddar cheese, but to this day I still LOVE IT. It was something about the fact that this beautiful, delicate, and demure Japanese woman was taking on this band of thugs and destroying them, ONE BY BLOODY ONE!
I got the same Adrenaline rush when I saw Bruce Lee’s sister, Soo Lin, kick booty in Enter The Dragon; Cynthia Rothrock in Martial Law; and the bad-ass ladies of Kill Bill: Beatrix Kiddo (the greatest female anti-hero EVER), Vernita Green (chile, don’t get me started on how cold blooded Vernita was with that butcher knife!), GoGo Yubari (Yeah, she had one scene but got damn…I would hire her as my bodyguard too!), Oren Ishii (The beautiful flower of carnage), and Miss Elle Driver (Kiddo’s arch nemesis). I have seen both films, at least fifty times, and I still can’t get enough. Whereas most guys are fathoming when they’re going to make a movie about The Black Panther I myself am waiting for Wonder Woman! When Michelle Pfieffer suited up as Catwoman I nearly wet my underoos when she kicked Batman’s ass and hissed, “Life’s a bitch…Now so am I!” Baaaaaaaby, you better believe that one of my message board accounts has that as a signature! LOL
Queen Elizabeth The 1st
Sarah Connor, Foxy Brown, Ellen Ripley, Lois Lane, Princess Leia Organa, Ororo Munroe, The Fox, Elektra Natchios, Catwoman, Felicia Hardy (aka Black Cat), and the list goes on and on. Powerful women just bring something out of me. For whatever reason I feel a certain kinship to them. Now, don’t get it twisted, I am a man, 100%. There is no gender confusion going on over here. I love being a guy. But, with that said, I just have this odd affinity for very strong women. When I watch these movies or read certain comic books I find myself identifying with the feminine protagonist (or the antagonist, if she is compelling enough) more so than the male ones. To quote Adam from Adam and Steve, “Whenever I used to watch romantic comedies I would superimpose my head onto Julia Roberts’ body.” To which Steve replied, “I used to do it for Meg Ryan.”
Two of my favorite movies are Elizabeth and Elizabeth The Golden Age. The story charts the rise of Queen Elizabeth The 1st, The Virgin Queen. The fact that a woman, centuries ago, was responsible for making her country the world’s first super power intrigued me to no end. After I saw the films (acted brilliantly by Cate Blanchett, another of my favorite girls) I immediately checked out “Elizabeth I” by Anne Sommerset and read it cover to cover.
Princess Leia Organa
And speaking of royalty who can imagine the Star Wars films without the spirited Princess Leia? Maine, when Princess Leia told Han Solo where he could go, and how he could get there, while letting him know that she was RUNNIN thangs, in Star Wars: Episode four I fell in love with that bitchy Princess(ha-ha)! The Princess was headstrong and take charge. Regardless of the fact that she was the only girl, in a galaxy far, far, away, she held it down! Hell, Princess Leia didn’t even back down from Darth Vadar! *snap!*
Bette Davis and Tina Turner, my two patron goddesses! These two women not only enthrall me with their work onstage but also the way they lived their real lives off of it. If there was never a Tina Turner I doubt ANYONE could have conjured her up. Likewise for Bette.
Tina went through the highest highs and the lowest lows. This is a woman who lived with a man that beat her REGULARLY for 18 years. Yet, she endured. Finally, she found it in herself to fight back and leave the bastard. And check this out, when she left she had nothing but the clothes on her back. Her career was completely shattered. Tina’s name was mud in the industry? Did that stop her? Chile please. She went onto become an icon without Ike’s sorry ass. Now Ike is dead of a cocaine overdose and Tina about to start another world tour!
Bette Davis, while never classically beautiful, was possibly the finest actress we will EVER know. Bette Davis was not merely an actress but a force of nature. No matter what movie I see her in she captures my eye. You can’t look away from her and I DARE you to try. Bette was a ballsy old broad that loved her liquor and would cuss you out if you looked at her the wrong way. I read that she wanted the role of Scarlett O’Hara, but her studio would not loan her out. So what did they do? They made, in my opinion, the superior Jezebel…And Bette worked it like it was nobody’s damn business. Man, I love me some Bette…Mmmph, mmmph, mmmph!
I’ve often stopped to pause and ponder on precisely WHY I revere these women the way that I do. Finally I sat down one day and analyzed my predilection for feminine power. I discovered that I don’t idolize these women simply because they are women. I love them because they are ME! Now, let me explain what I mean. All of these women, rather real or fraudulent, represent me and different facets of my personality, as a gay man. In all of the films the women are always the scrappy underdogs. They have to prove their worth in order to be acknowledged and taken seriously. Whether it is going after revenge, leading an army, or warring against slimy vicious aliens (or abusive ex-husbands…same difference) the same principle still applied. These women, by virtue of being women, were the underdogs. They aren’t supposed to succeed. They are supposed to fail, unless they have the assistance of the uber masculine hero. Yet, somehow each of these women finds a way to triumph rather it is with her wits, fists, or feminine wiles.
Growing up I often related to that feeling of powerlessness. Being that I felt so inconceivably different from all of my peers, particularly other males, I always felt like I had something to prove. I had to go above and beyond in any and everything that I did to make up for the fact that I was, in fact, gay. My sexuality was–at that time–something that had to be compensated for. I never celebrated what I was insofar as I worked hard to try and overcome it.
Pam Grier is Jackie Brown
When you are gay, and open about who you are, right away you considered the underdog. You are perceived as weak and less than a man simply because you may exhibit “feminine” qualities. Yet, you don’t allow yourself to be trampled upon, patronized, and undermined. You fight harder because you know you have that perceived strike against you. Me, I’ve always been a scrappy one. I dig in my heels and bite and claw my way to the top. I always know, on some gut level, that because I’m a gay black man there are people who WANT me to fail. That is why I go above and beyond in every single thing that I do. Now, I don’t feel that way as much (due to being a bit more secure in my own skin); however, that fight is still in me. I’ll never use it because it is, now, too intrinsic to my personality.
Which is why I adore these ladies. They represent a true warrior’s spirit. They do what is not expected of women. They are supposed to stay “in a woman’s place.” But here they are, in a man’s world, doing their thing BETTER than any man ever could. That is why I love those “Sex In The City” girls too, particularly Ms. Samantha Jones. At the end of “Sex In The City” the movie Samantha turned 50, and you know what? She was still single and looking fanfuckingtastic! Samantha didn’t wither away and die. Oh hell no, that foxy mamacita kept on doing her thing!
And one woman, who has proven to be exceptional to me, is my own mother. I believe that she is the ultimate reason why I love strong women so. My mother and I have been throw so much together. And, prior to me, she went through so MUCH on her own. But still she stands like the warrior goddess wonder woman that she is. She is always triumphant and that is truly something I want to emulate.
In essence These women I so adore are merely gay men sans penises. They ARE me. They are me, in an obtuse way.
Now, fortunately, the next generation of gay teens have positive gay role models to look towards. There will be gay men onscreen for them to idolize and emulate. But when I was little all I had were the ladies, these pseudo gay men.
For that I will ALWAYS love them all!
To all my GURLS with Love…Keep workin it!