Dear Friends:
This blog is a collection of random ramblings and thoughtful meanderings. Topics run the gamut from: inspirational thoughts, gay and lesbian issues, religion, entertainment/pop culture, 1980’s Nostalgia, and Gorgeous Guys Galore…all from the perspective of a young gay man of the African American persuasion…Me!
With Love…
Toddy English.
P.S.
This is my contact information…
E-Mail: ToddyBoyJones@yahoo.com
Holla!
ToddyEnglish
Dear Friends:
I don’t know who this it but I found him on Sozo’s Blog! Chile, he’s just thoroughly edible!
Enjoy!
Toddy English.
Gabourey Sidibe
I was watching The View the other day (I love watching those harpies) and the subject of Gabourey Sidibe came up. In spite of her numerous award nominations (for her star turn as Clareece Precious Jones) many industry insiders are already whispering that “Precious” will be Ms. Sidibe’s first and last time at the rodeo.
Honestly, I tend to agree. It is difficult being a woman in Hollywood. It is even more difficult being a black woman in Hollywood. Moreover, an actresses’ problems are further exacerbated if she’s a dark skinned black woman in Hollywood. Now, throw morbid obesity into the mix and it’s possible that Gabourey may never work steadily in this town again.
Outward appearance is so important in our popular culture. It is an undeniable fact that the more attractive you are percieved the more acting opportunities you will be alotted. Ms. Sidibe is COMPLETELY left of what is percieved to be “beautiful” by Western standards.
Well, I hope a sistah does keep on pursuing her craft. She moved me in Precious.
With Love…
Sincerely,
Toddy English.
Growing up me and my best friends used to watch Berry Gordy’s ‘The Last Dragon’ every single day, sometimes twice a day. We were obsessed with this movie! The Last Dragon had everything: Martial Arts, Motown Soul, Vanity (the uber sex goddess of the 80’s), homages to Bruce Lee, and…::sigh:: Bruce Leroy (Taimak).
First of all was there ANYBODY that did not have a crush on Bruce Leroy? Uhm, do you know that I took up martial arts just a few years later in hopes of meeting him in class? I think Leroy Green turned me gay. Yeah, that’s what happened (or was it Ricky Shroeder on Silver Spoons? It was one of them)
Anyway…The crux of the story was as follows…
Leroy Green is a young martial artist (from Harlem) obsessed with advancing to the “Final Level.” The final level is when a martial artist becomes a TRUE master of his craft (This self actualization is accompanied by a sublime glow all over his or her body). You could say that the final level is like reaching the end of an X-Box game (and obsessed Leroy CAN’T drop the control long enough to stop dressing like a Chinese coolie). Leroy’s almost there but Sho Nuff (aka The Shogun of Harlem) is having none of it! Sho Nuff is a badass “Rick James Lookin Fool” who wants to challenge Leroy to a martial arts duel for “total supremacy.” Why he hates Leroy so much is unexplained but who in the hell cares? What ensues is a rollicking good show accompanied by a soundtrack that can’t be beat! Vanity (the once gorgeous Prince protege) co-stars as a popular radio/television personality (and subsequently Leroy’s love interest) who has to deal with the psychotic record producer Eddie Arcadian (who wants his no singing girlfriend’s video to be aired on her show).
If you haven’t seen ‘The Last Dragon’ then do yourself a favor and Netflix it. The movie flopped in theaters; but it developed a massive cult following on VHS. This is one of those movies that refuses to die. Apparently Hollywood has gotten hip and ‘The Last Dragon’ is getting a hip hop reboot for the 21st century (allegedly Rihanna is being considered for the role of Laura Charles), BOOO! Hollywood, leave this one alone!
“When I say who’s the mastah…You say SHO NUFF!”
A God! A Real GOD!
Dear Friends:
I hope ya’ll are not sick and tired of me shining the glare on Mehcad Brooks? I’ve done it like four times already (this being the 5th), (lol). I apologize but he is too delicious!
He can come between me and my Calvins!
Toddy English.
P.S.
Will Smith…
I still love you. But you are officially my number two celeb crush! (lol)
Dear Friends:
I’ve been nominated for a Kreativ Blogger award on three different blogs! So, as an extension of gratitude I am going to pay it forward (as per the rules of the award)…
The first blogger who nominated me was Viktor of Maybe It’s Just Me! This is one of my FAVORITE blogs on the web. Viktor talks about: politics (in a way that my politically retarded ass can understand), gay and lesbian issues, and occasionally posts some 1980’s nostalgia (which is like crack to me). Oneday I want to meet him in person so we can collaborate on a script for Jem the movie.
Sorry, but I don’t remember who nominated me for the second time! Eep!
Lastly, but certainly not least, my online crush…Forbidden Light (of ‘Journals of an Intelsexual’ fame)! Uhm, so I totally met Forbidden Light a long time ago on a website far, far, and away. Since then we’ve progressed from casual facebook acquaintances to him poppin my cell phone cherry (was it as good for you as it was for me? haha) a few days ago. He is a sweetie and a delight!
As per the rules you’re supposed to reveal seven things that people don’t know about you. Now, I wonder how is that possible seeing as I’ve revealed practically EVERYTHING sans the tawdry details of my, lately, paltry sex life!
hmmm…
1.) When I’m walking to me car at night I still look beneath it just to make sure there’s no one with a straight razor waiting to slash my ankles. Old habits die really hard.
2.) Whenever I’m in my car listening to my Barbara Striesand CD’s I act out the songs. I’m the worst with ”Don’t Rain on my Parade.” No matter how many witnesses are about I throw my arms out and sing, at the top of my lungs, “Hey Mr. Onsteeeeiiin HEEEEEREEE I AAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!” Once, some ladies in the car next to me applauded. I apologize but Barbara just does something to me.
3.) I’m flirting with the idea of possibly becoming a vegan. It isn’t because I had some epiphany about being environmentally conscious. It’s because I have a hellish lactose intolerance. So, I figure why not go all the way?
4.) When I was little I went out for the baseball team. The coach stuck me in Left Field the first day. However, now I’m a college grad and all of those other kids are either in jail or dope fiends. Moral of the story: You don’t have to be a jock to succeed.
5.) When I was little I wanted to be a rock star. I used to tie a towel around my head and play a tennis racket to Smells Like Teen Spirit and Livin on a prayer.
6.) I had a dog named Michael Jackson. I am not kidding.
7.) My ex-step dad used to drive me to school in a hearse (he was an undertaker). That was sooo EMBARRASSING!
Blogs I Want to Nominate
1.) Toy Couture
2.) K Clark’s Corner
3.) Bearing The Lightness of Being
4.) Clips and Chips
5.) Kaos Theory
6.) Homo On The Loose
Archie? Are you SURE that isn't you?! Handsome mug!
Dear Friends:
I am so partial to Nate Parker! Not only do I think he is devastatingly handsome (more on that later), but he looks EXACTLY like my ex-boyfriend, Archie! The resemblance is uncanny! But chile we ain’t goin THERE (lol)!
Anyway, I’ve been feelin Arch–NATE–every since I saw the movie Pride three years ago. Baaaby, that movie was chock full of delectable delights clad only in 1960’s styled speedos! Of course it was Mr. Parker that caught my roving eye, mmmmhmmm (although that Evan Ross was not too hard on the eyes either!). Afterwards he seduced Jurnee Smollet in ‘The Great Debaters’ as the debate team’s elegant and dashing lothario (chile, while Nate was debatin I felt like masturbatin!). Hmmm, what is it about him? First of all he has a body that looks like it was chiseled out of a rock! And don’t even get me started on his gorgeous cheekbones, beautiful mahogany skin, and ripe/luscious/succullent lips! Uhm, hold up…I need to fan myself because I feel tha vapors comin on.
Anyway, before I succumb get a load of Mr. Parker!
Cheers!
Toddy English
Dear Friends:
Twelve years ago, at the tender age of fifteen, my love affair with Paul Walker began (lol). Chile, I went to see ‘She’s All That’ and I’ve been salivating ever since! When the movie started I was like, “Oh my goodness Freddie Prinze Jr. is so hot.” That was until I saw his co-star…Oh honey the plotline became a mere FOOTNOTE after Paul showed his handsome mug! All I can say is gawjus dahling gawjus! I was actually hoping Laney Boggs (the nerdy girl with the make over) picked Freddie’s handsome adversary! Paul, like Ryan Reynolds, is just that quintessential stereotypical all American boy DREAM BOAT: jostled blonde hair (check), striking blue eyes (check), chiseled jaw line (check!), sexy smile (that looks sorta evil and entincing. Check!), killer abs (check), bulging biceps (check!), and that sexy V-line that goes down to his…mmmhmmm haha (check!).
Anyway, Paul is a total B-List celebrity but I’ve watched every lame movie he’s ever been in. I mean who in the hell cares that he starred in any number of straight to DVD bombs? Just look at him! Chile, I did not go and see those ridiculous Fast & The Furious movies for the damn cars!
Judge for yourselves!
Cheers!
Toddy English
Oh my goodness! ::sigh::
Slippery When Wet!
Gawjus dahling GAWJUS!
Happy trails in the valley of the V-cut!
Bayard Rustin
Bayard Rustin: The soul of the civil rights movement
Bayard Rustin, largely ignored by the African American community at large, was the heart and soul of the civil rights movement. Yes, Martin Luther King Jr. was the leader but he learned all of his non violent techniques from Rustin. Moreover, Mr. Rustin was responsible for organizing the now legendary march on Washington. In addition Mr. Rustin was a vocal advocate for LGBT rights before he passed away in 1987.
Angela Davis
Brilliant activist for: African American, Woman, and LGBT rights. She was a former black panther and a voice throughout the civil rights movement.
Barbara Jordan: The First African American woman to serve in the United States House of Representatives
Audre Lorde
Alvin Ailey
Countee Cullen
Langston Hughes: My literary muse
Sylvester: The original Disco Diva.
Bessie Smith: The Grand Dame of Blues music...
Billie Holiday: The Great Lady herself
Dear Friends:
The NFL has stirred up the obligatory controversy. Not since Janet’s big ole titty was exposed has such a ruckus run amok in the world of advertisement. For those of you not in the know…
Mancrunch.com, a gay dating website, recently purchased ad space for this years’ Superbowl. Anyway, the commercial features two very average looking gentlemen watching a football game (benign enough). Suddenly, one of them reaches for some candy the same time the other one does. Well, instead of violently asserting their heterosexuality (ala the last Superbowl commercial for Snickers that never aired) the two start making out on the couch (really heavy like).
Of course CBS rejected the ad (like a duh?) along with an anti-abortion piece. So, I can see the network not wanting to make Superbowl night about hot button issues. Yet, nevertheless here are my thoughts…
Like it or not...I see more women who look like this everyday than I'd like to.
I thought the commercial in and of itself was extremely: low budget, tacky, crass, and boorish. The gay factor was used for shock value, no more no less. What would have been so bad about a tastefully done commercial? For instance…
Same setting. Same dudes. Only dude in the green jersey is cuddled up next to his boo whilst watching the game. No one would’ve been able to cause an uproar over that. It would have made a statement and been non controversial.Therefore, I am convinced that is what mancrunch.com was going for. They were banking on the controversy and their viewership has probably gone sky high since then.
Lastly, the people who made a huge stink over it are the same ones who would have laughed had some woman tackled a man and slobbed him down. However, I digress. People get quite angry when confronted with their own hypocrisy.
Besides, that isn’t what this is about…
Chile, this is about the idea that sex between two (or more) men is somehow disgusting. Ugh, the mere insinuation makes me so mad!
I’ll read on the internet and listen to homophobic straight people talk about, “Ew, I don’t see how they do it! That is sooooo nasty,” or “Eeeeewwww they do it in the booty” and other sh*t like that. Furthermore, I’ve often heard homophobic straight men (well, I am presuming they are straight given their preoccupation with all things gay related) crassly state, “I can’t imagine two rusty legged dudes in da bed together bro!” (note: these are the same guys who loudly applaud lesbians when in fact they don’t like lesbians at all. They like big breasted bimbos that pretend to be lesbians just for their demented sexist pleasure…Moreover, in actuality the “lesbians” they covet so much would not touch them even in their fantasies)
My response to that is…
Most Gay Guys at the club
Anyway…
Many people have it in their minds that gay sex is somehow filthy and unhygienic simply because anal sex is so prevalent between men (which I don’t understand seeing as more and more men are persuading their women to let them go “Back Door.” Furthermore, if you ask me poking a hole that spews monthly blood and human beings is just as “nasty” as one that emits fecal matter…Then again that is just me). Moreover, those same individuals equate gay sex with pain and domination (e.g. their imagination is awash with ghastly images of prison with one guy getting bent over and gang banged by the bloods and crips).
Also, don’t even get me started on the delusional fantasy world wherein ALL women are fine featured; delicately crafted by god (from the rib of Adam); gamine creatures with bountiful breasts and pouty lips all created to appeal to men’s loins. Yes, the guy could look like a cross between Patrick Ewing and Wesley Snipes but still a stunning creature of the utmost pulchritude awaits his beck and call…
Now for the reality check…
The average American woman more closely resembles Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg…Not Halle Berry. Now that is the gospel truth (can I get an amen?). So, I’d like to know what could POSSIBLY be more revolting? One of those women or some hot looking gay guy?
Be that as it may, given my experience, as a gay man, gay sex is completely and totally hygienic. Do you know how much dedication it takes for me to prepare myself to go out into the world everyday (just in case some dude wants to holla)? Now factor in another two hours for my regimen when I definitely know some sex is going to be involved! Ladies and gents it is dedication, pure and simply put.
Some people operate under the archaic notion that men as a whole are base beings (particularly radical feminists). Men are dumb and filthy barbarians that don’t care for such trivialities like: manicured hands, pedicured feet, sweet scents, and a clean ass. These brutish creatures, according to every single episode of Oprah in history, need wives and girlfriends to reach their pinnacle in terms of cleanliness and etc al.
Well honey I’m certainly not the guy they are referring to, or most gay
men for that matter. Chile, whenever I have a date I start preparing a day in advance just to get there on time (I don’t believe in being fashionably late)! After taking my shower I slather my body in St. Ives moisturizer before dabbing scented oils (Nubian musk and blue nile are my scents of choice) behind my ears and on my chest (sometimes I’ll even use body spray) and various nether regions. Then I have to brush/floss my teeth; wash and moisturize my face (cannot use the same body moisturizer for the face); clean my ears, trim my nose hairs; and condition and comb my hair! That is all before I start getting dressed!
Now, if you’re talking purely SEXUAL hygiene then that’s a whole NOTHA story. Being that I’m mostly a bottom (Yes, I admit it! There is no shame in that whatsoever. Pfft!) there is a whole heap of responsibility place squarely on my buttocks (so to speak). Afterall, I’m not going to allow myself to get the sordid reputation of having a bad ass (and I don’t mean bad as in good). Once word gets around you’re screwed (not in a good way). Granted, I am not about to divulge the details of my cleansing ritual but please believe that I’m so clean you could probably eat food off my body…
Most straight men where I grew up.
The idea that gay sex is so dirty is a myth derived from rampant homophobia, old wives tales, and puritanical folkways. Trust me, I’ve been to the gay clubs. I’ve seen guys that literally have their faces BEAT (made up) better than ANY female I’ve ever seen honey. Hell, my friend Freddy wears “M for Mariah” fragrance! He smells just like a woman (lol). Furthermore, and perhaps it is just the clubs I’ve been in, but EVERYONE is hot…even if they aren’t hot. Gay men don’t be half steppin when it comes to our looks and hygiene.
If anything I’d think heterosexual sex might be gross seeing as the only requirements that most women have for a man is that they be employed and have a good sense of humor (which totally leaves everything else to chance. ew). I don’t think I’d ever willingly toss a straight guy’s salad, even if he looked really good (chances are, since he’s only been with women, he ain’t worry about being clean back there!). I’ve seen heterosexual women with men that I’ve literally thought, “How does she let him touch her without recoiling?” Furthermore, once the majority of hetero guys get married even if they are cute they let their appearance go to pot. They just sit on the couch; drink their beers; eat pizza; belch; scratch themselves; and scream at the television; while they beg their wives to bring them more beer. How these men have any sex, aside from their right hand, mystifies me. These are the same guys that believe every gay guy secretly lusts to be with them by virtue of them being male. Uhm, well, may I shock the world with this statement be we (gays) really are quite selective!
Anyway, this was a PSA for gay sex.
Cheers!
Sincerely,
Toddy English
toddyenglish
Haunted By An Unwritten Character
Dear Friends:
I have officially decided to write the story of a character that has been haunting me for well over a year. The tale is supernatural in nature (one of my favorite themes) and features African Americans as principal leads (which is a rarity in Fantasy/sci-fi)…
However, I’ve been afraid to undertake the story gestating within my imagination.
Some of my fear is steeped in a percieved lack of originality. No matter what ‘original’ idea I believe I’ve conjured up there is someone who has ALREADY thought of it too. That is really maddening at times.
Yet, I continually hearken back to my freshmen English professor’s profound statement that, “No one is ever going to reinvent the wheel.” Therefore, I’ve decided to revisit existing themes while putting my own imaginative spin on them. Problem number one is solved.
However, the true set back comes from sheer unadulterated ambivalence about writing the damn story.
The ambivalence stems from attempting to fashion my principal character (The lead whom will drive this story) into an authentic human that the reader can empathize with. This is the character that desperately needs their story told (as stated in the title of this blog. I am literally HAUNTED by this fantasy person). Anyway, getting right down to it, the character in question is a woman. The idea of writing extensively about a woman intimidates me, because I am not a woman. So, how can a man possibly write a convincingly well rounded female character? Moreover, how can a gay man write for a heterosexual woman?
This conundrum left me discombobulated. It disabled me momentarily. I was literally afraid to start writing the story. As a man I don’t know what it feels like to be a woman. So how could I possibly write a compelling character with so much uncertainty floating around in my head?
You’re usually told to “write what you know” by some folks. So, I tried to change the character’s gender and make ‘him’ gay. However, I wasn’t compelled to write my protagonist that way. As I’ve stated previously this character has sprung to life in my mind as her own unique entity. She cannot be anything other than she is. Now, she is begging me to tell her story. She refuses to let me do a gender reassignment on her.
For the record I’ve always wanted to create my own powerful heroine. Every since I saw Linda Carter as Wonder Woman I’ve been fascinated by really strong women. So, in writing my own character, I wanted to make her just as wonderfully impactful as: Wonder Woman, Storm (not the horrible Halle Berry version), Foxy Brown, and Sarah Connor were.
I actually wrote a female anti-heroine a few years ago. It was an eighteen chapter story based on Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Kill Bill’ (another writer with a predilection for mighty female characters) franchise. The story was about Nikia Bell, the daughter of Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox), going after revenge for the death of her mother. Long story short I transformed Nikki from a small child into a lethal assassin. A lot of people loved it, even girls. Yet, in retrospect, I wish I had done somethings differently. I’ll not delve into that right now; but, I always said to myself that when I created my own original character I’d rectify some mistakes…
So, I am scared. Yet, I MUST write this story! This character is longing to exist. On the one hand it is so exciting to be filled with inspiration but on the other…Yeah, you get it.
Anyway, I talked to some of my online writer friends and they gave me some potent advice…
One of them said, “Well, if you wrote a story about a serial killer would you need to go out and commit murder for research?” That would be a definite HELL NO. Moreover, I don’t know what it’s like to be an assassin but I wrote a story about professional assassins. I’ve written fantastical stories about: mutants, fairies, and elves and etc al…
That is when it dawned on me. We are all human beings (well I always knew that. But that is besides the point). So why should the human experience be so astoundingly different for a man or woman? Granted, physiologically, the sexes are different (men are adapted for rigorous labor and women child birth) but are we all so vastly different that we can’t find commonality in a shared human experience?
True, there are tons of differences; however, I don’t believe that the two genders are polar opposites. I think in our culture the differences are played out quite significantly, however. “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus” is a marketer’s wild wet dream. The dating section at Barnes and Noble is a million dollar(s) industry whose fortune is based on creating a cavernous gulf between the genders. We exacerbate the differences so much that we eliminate any room for similarity.
Ultimately, everyone, regardless of gender, wants self actualization and happiness. It is how they go about it that differs. Yet, that isn’t based on sex. That is based on human individuality.
That’s why I’ve always, as a gay man, more readily identified with strong female protagonists in fiction. Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry is totally unrelatable to me. One look at him and you know he is going to beat everybody’s ass and save the day. There is nothing that makes his ’struggle’ empathic. Yet, Buffy Summers left me feeling compelled. The idea that an unassuming petite little cheerleader is the SOLE protector of humanity, from the forces of darkness, is profound. Now, add to that she is juggling school, family, and friends friends in the process.
Therefore, I am going to write my character as a human being first; a human being with a dilemma second, and her gender being a mere detail (much like the color of her hair and etc al).
Anyway, I didn’t mean this as a dissertation on men and women but it just came out that way…haha.
Cheers.
Toddy English.